


Our Time Carved into Our Flesh

by GrowingAHead (shelleyk0503)



Series: In Between [2]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Graphic Description, Graphic Sexual Content, M/M, Sex, Turn Back the Pendulum Arc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-03-19 10:03:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13702230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelleyk0503/pseuds/GrowingAHead
Summary: More intimate moments between Shinji and Aizen fromIn BetweenBefore and during "Turn Back the Pendulum" Arc.





	1. Letting In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji and Aizen consummate their 'relationship' for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've decided to break off certain chapters from "In Between" to a different work because of the rating. Aizen turned out to be... a lot less reserved than I initially surmised. 
> 
> This chapter takes place right after Chapter 8 'Staking Claim' from "In Between".

Things went on as usual.

Shinji could say that because he now took to confirming every situation as ‘Yes, the usual.’ Like a man tapping every block of a bridge to see if it was safe to cross.

It didn’t set off any warning when, with his usual smile, Sousuke asked if the captain would accompany him to the night market this evening. There were some things he wanted to pick up and some work matters he’d like to discuss.

The usual. Tap, tap.

It was surprisingly relaxing. The lanterns floating along the makeshift canopy over numerous stalls cast everything in warm, colorful glow that made the whole street seem otherworldly. The bustle of the crowd was just lively enough without being stifling. And if their bodies brushed against each other amidst the flow of moving people, it was perfectly natural.

Sousuke purchased some camellia oil. _‘Some of the staff have been asking for a change of lamp oil at the offices,’_ he said by way of explanation. Shinji contented himself with just looking, except for a few dango that quickly disappeared into their mouths. All the while, they casually spoke about trivialities at work.

“Apparently there’s going to be a surprise drill tomorrow for all division captains and officers, headed by the First Division.”

Shinji raised an eyebrow. 

“Well, if ya know ‘bout it, it ain’t much of a surprise, _apparently,_ ”

Sousuke chuckled. “I was talking to one of the First Division administration staff today. He kindly gave me a heads-up,”

So saying, Sousuke tucked a stray lock of hair behind Shinji’s ear. Shinji didn’t react.

“So what’s it gonna be, this drill. Yer informant disclose that?”

“My… _informant_ ’s kindness didn’t quite extend to the specifics, but he said it was going to be a form of trust exercise.”

Shinji frowned and shifted his gait.

“Lemme guess, this is at the behest of Lieutenant Sasakibe, right?”

Sousuke bowed lightly towards his captain.

“Nothing escapes you, Captain Hirako.”

“He gets into these moods from time to time. As if he needs to prove his existence every decade or so. So, trust exercise? What, like where one leads the other with the latter blindfolded, somethin’ like that?”

“Perhaps more… elaborate than that. But yes, similar to it, I believe.”

Shinji scoffed. “Goin’ to be a right silly sight. All these able officers bein’ led in a children’s game. Ya think we can get out of it?”

“It _is_ headed by the First Division…”

“I ain’t keen to make a fool of myself just because old man Sasakibe needs to assert himself. Hey, we can do it amongst ourselves right here, right now.”

Shinji closed his eyes and stepped in front of his lieutenant. He half-expected the latter to pull him back by his haori, admonishing him to stop this nonsense. He was surprised to hear Sousuke’s voice behind him: “Bridge ahead, captain. Upward curve,”

Shinji knew it even without Sousuke’s warning. His feet felt the familiar stone blocks arching up. Edges of railing grazed the tips of his outstretched hand.

“There’s a raised block before you, don’t trip over it, captain.”

Shinji jumped, alighting on the railing like a tightrope-walker, eyes still shut.

“I didn’t say ‘jump’,”

“Ya should’ve been more specific.”

“People are looking at us,”

“Are they, now?”

“Watch out, there’s a part where the railing is broken –“

“Can’t _watch_ out,”

Shinji’s foot sank right into a gap in the stonework. The onlookers shouted in alarm as the lean figure wobbled on the narrow path. Sousuke immediately reached out for his captain’s arm but it slipped off his grasp. (It _could_ have been that Shinji’s arm drew away when the other’s hand touched it for a fleeting instance.) For a moment, the wiry frame seemed to suspend almost perpendicular to the railing. Then, impossibly, the figure swung mid-air, kicking off from its precarious perch, long hair and sleeves flaring out like a bird taking flight. Feet danced in the air before they landed with a twirl, at least five steps away from their original position. Shinji turned around to face his lieutenant, his eyes still closed.

The horrified screams from the onlookers broke into laughter. Some even applauded.

Shinji slowly opened his eyes, meeting the heavy-lidded gaze of his lieutenant.

“Ya fail, Sousuke,” said Shinji, jumping off from the railing. “Ya don’t trust yer captain to save himself?”

“I think it’s more that _you_ don’t trust me enough to _let_ me save you, captain.”

Sousuke walked on, only stopping so that his captain would not fall behind. Because of that, Shinji didn’t have to be the one to break eye-contact.

There was silence afterwards, all the way back to the division barracks. Shinji said nothing when Sousuke continued to follow him instead of heading to his own room. _(The usual, his lieutenant did this often.)_ He didn’t intervene when Sousuke went ahead of him to open the door to captain’s quarters, entering before he did. It could’ve been seen as insolent. Probably _was_ insolent. But Shinji couldn’t care less as he watched Sousuke light the lamp.

He was momentarily derailed upon sighting _two_ zanpakuto on the sword-rack by the wall. _(Not usual, not at all.)_ Then he remembered Sousuke had left Kyoka Suigetsu right beside his Sakanade when he came to to pick him up for the outing.

Shinji blinked when he heard the soft sound of wood scraping and turned around. His mind must’ve been wandering because now Sousuke was there, before the doorway. _(Glasses off, Shinji realized. He stole a look to a corner to see them lying carelessly beside the lamp. Not at all usual -)_

Sousuke didn’t look away from Shinji as he closed the door behind him.

For a moment, the two remained still. Gazes locked on each other. Neither budging. Shinji felt his insides buzz and joints tingle as Sakanade trilled – either in a growl or a chortle or - as contradictory as that old liar had always been – both. 

Then Sousuke crossed the distance between them.

It started out gentle, like their first kiss. Then gradually turned more ravenous, penetrating. And when Sousuke’s mouth let go of Shinji's, it was only to trail down to his chin, his neck, to plant a sucking, bruising kiss between his collarbones -.

And Shinji let him. Because… they might as well, right? There was no point in refusing his lieutenant at this point. After all, he had chosen Aizen Sousuke to keep him close. He couldn’t push him away now.

And because… they might as well _have_ done it. What with the jolt that coursed through his body every time they bumped into each other at the market, at the barest touch of hands at the bridge. The constant twinge like someone threading a string though his veins.

Yet Shinji pulled back when Sousuke’s hand slipped inside his clothing, a muffled hiss escaping between his lips. It was purely reflexive. Instinct raising hackles against a wild predator. And sure enough - there were teeth on his throat, a sigh that was very nearly a snarl. The way Sousuke yanked Shinji flush against him might’ve been construed as forceful. The pale wrist clasped in his grip would possibly bloom red and purple next morning. But the fit of violence was gone as abrupt as it’d come. Shinji felt Sousuke shudder against him, as if coming out of himself. Then a soft kiss on the brow, on the cheek, on the mouth. “Please,” Sousuke whispered between the kisses, “ _Please_ ,” And Shinji might have laughed, because such desperate earnestness was the last thing he’d expected from his lieutenant. It was endearing and frightening. And if it was contrived, it was nigh an art form. Shinji figured it should be appreciated.

They made it to futon, slowly collapsing upon it in a sitting heap. Shinji had meant to discard his clothing quickly – just as he’d do when changing for the night. For a bath. But Sousuke prevented him, pulling the garment himself by inches, tracing bits of flesh revealed with his hands and mouth. Shinji felt his nipples harden beneath the pads of Sousuke’s thumbs, under his tongue. Sousuke stayed a little longer over the spiderweb scar, mouthing a question over it.

Another story, another time. Sousuke went past the scar to describe Shinji’s ribs with his fingertips, to push down another layer of clothing.

Sousuke gently lay Shinji down on his back when he was exposed to the waist. Shinji protested – ‘ _Ain’t no babe’_ – but then Sousuke took Shinji’s hair in his hand, kissing each lock before spreading them over the sheet. That shut Shinji up.

Still, Shinji tried not to recoil as Sousuke undid the lower part of his clothing. Hated the blush that shot up to his ears when the other’s gaze dropped between his legs.

“Sousuke – the light –“

“I want to see all of you.”

Sousuke’s hands and mouth roamed over Shinji’s thighs, coaxing them open. Sousuke’s lips strayed a bit longer on the left thigh, tracing along the almost-healed cut. Both tensed when Sousuke bumped into that hardened crimson scar above, that particular letter. The moment passed as Sousuke lifted his head a little, taking Shinji’s thighs to spread them further. Long fingers tickled the inside of his knees, almost causing a giggle before taking Shinji’s breath away by moving higher, finding tender, sensitive folds, pressing into moist crevices and milking out strained groans. Sousuke’s fingers and lips tantalizingly brushed over Shinji’s erect cock. It was mockingly similar to the light contact of their mouths at the beginning. Except for the slightest press of tongue to the tip that made Shinji’s breath hitch. Shinji felt those lips slide down, a nose bumping into the root of his cock, the tongue licking salt from reddened skin, hands palming the heavy flesh between his quivering thighs. The sheet underneath rustled and wrinkled, its folds scraping Shinji’s back as his body moved under Sousuke’s administrations.

If his lieutenant was confident throughout the whole process, the touches smooth and sure, then Shinji would’ve been a little repulsed. But Sousuke treated him like something wrought of feathers and hollowed bones – something that might either flit away or break.

A part of Shinji that stayed narrow-eyed and cold wondered whether _that_ was calculated, as well.

Warm hands finally, finally, closed around the throbbing center, already embarrassingly wet at the tip. And as the hand _pulled_ , Shinji couldn’t smother the sharp, hoarse cry that expelled from his throat, couldn’t help the thrusting of his hips as those large hands slowly stroked him. One hand digging into his lieutenant’s shoulders, the other possibly tearing the sheet underneath – Shinji swallowed another moan.

“H-hey,” Shinji panted out as he dug at the other’s shoulder. His lieutenant wordlessly lifted his head. Mussed brown curls fell over feverish-looking eyes. The sight caused a strange ache in Shinji that was separate from what was being done to his body. _Ya shouldn’t look at me like that._ He thought. _No-one should look at_ anyone _like that._

Shinji clenched his teeth and tugged at the other’s clothing. “It – it ain’t fair – for ya to –“ As soon as he'd said it, the hands tormenting him were gone. Shinji almost let out a startled sound at the loss but his attention was taken away by the sight of Sousuke slipping quickly out of his shihakusho, the way _Shinji_ had _meant_ to do with his own.

Sousuke seemed somehow taller - bigger, when he cast off his clothing. As a snake molting out of its confining old skin becomes larger. Shinji knew that Sousuke always took the trouble to make himself look more diminutive than he was. But knowing and seeing were two different things. After a moment’s hesitation, he let his hands slide over that body – tinted gold under lamp’s light. _Flawless and smooth. Like scales_. The nearest experience Shinji could compare to touching his lieutenant was the first time he’d held Sakanade. Half-suspicious as to whether he _truly_ held it, trying to memorize the size, the lines, the tangibility of it.

Shinji realized that his touches were more driven by fascination than desire. It must’ve have shown, too, for Sousuke abruptly took his hand and while looking directly at him – half challenge, half seeking permission – guided it to the heat of him.

A vicious satisfaction ran through Shinji in finding the other man just as hard as he was, just as wet. There was also an unexpected sense of power as Sousuke thrust into his hand, as he rolled coal-hot balls in his palm. Shinji was distracted by the texture of hot flesh, the softness of hair down there. He gave an experimental squeeze and Sousuke gasped, bit back something that Shinji could’ve sworn was the beginning of an oath, and gave another harsh heave. Somehow, Sousuke’s hand had snaked back between Shinji’s legs, giving as good as he’d gotten – probably a good deal more.

Eventually, they managed to align their hips, their arousals pressing against their bellies, thighs. Until they were grinding together, tangled bodies undulating as if borne by invisible waves. Shinji actually found his own heat and corresponding pants bothersome, for he wanted to study the darkness of Sousuke’s eyes, Sousuke’s voice that rumbled directly under his spine, the rippling muscles of that body. At the same time, there was an irrational urge to escape the other’s scrutiny. And Shinji turned away when Sousuke looked at his face, focusing on the blurry sight of his own hair being swept across the sheets in the wake of their violent writhing.

By now, they were slick with each other. The fire running lambent in the lower regions, that itch, that pain – was unbearable. Shinji felt the tipping point just out of reach, almost, almost -.

Then Sousuke stopped.

_What._ Shinji thought he’d shouted it. Except what came out was more a low keening. Sousuke gave a shuddering breath, his bowed, glistening back shaking as he slowly, painfully lifted his upper body. Shinji saw brown curls plastered on his face and almost reached out to smooth them out of the way. “No,” Sousuke let out a husky whisper, gently but firmly holding down Shinji’s convulsing body. “Not yet,” Then he reached for his discarded clothing. Shinji propped himself on his elbows with difficulty, to peer over, when Sousuke pushed him back again with a kiss. But not before Shinji caught sight of him bringing out a bottle of camellia oil he’d bought.

There was _no_ way Shinji was letting anybody use _that_ oil for _any_ of the lamps in the division.

His lieutenant’s hand took hold of his thighs and pushed them so his knees bent high up, hips lifted on scrunched-up sheets and the mass of their clothing. Shinji heard nails clicking against the porcelain container – _Clumsy, Sousuke, so unlike ya_ – then felt slippery fingers trail along his lifted thigh all the way down to his behind-

Shinji couldn’t help the sudden intake of breath at the first wet poke. Curse exploding from his throat as fingers tickled at the rim of muscles there. His skin – which had felt as if it were melting, like treacle – now felt tight, oppressive. Sousuke kissed him again, whispering into his mouth, into his skin as he licked his neck, his shoulders, all the way down to his stomach.  _I want you to relax. Please, captain. Let me have you this way._

_I can’t have you?_  The voice of a child - a boy that'd never grow to be a man - echoed in memory. _No one can have anyone, not in any way._ Shinji couldn’t be sure whether he’d said it then, or had merely thought it. Guilt and shame arose at the fact that such memory would be conjured up right now, right here. Irrationally afraid that Sousuke might somehow taste that memory from his flesh, might claw that event out of him as his finger breached his body.

Shinji bit his lip as another finger was inserted. They started moving inside. Almost ticklish at first, until they were tapping a rhythm against his inner walls, scissoring and stretching. Then another finger –

One of the fingers grazed a spot that nearly lifted Shinji off the sheet, a cry coming out unbidden. It was as if he were floating out of his own skin. Followed by a sort of reverberating sensation that teetered between pain and pleasure. He heard Sousuke’s breath become harsher, and fingers pressed against that hard warmth again, causing Shinji’s hips to jerk up once more.

Shinji gave up, only marginally trying to stifle his cries and staccato breaths. Let his body do what it wanted. Which right now was to be Sousuke’s instrument, to thrum and sway as Sousuke’s fingers played it from the inside. Hips arching up, thighs trembling and straining. There was too much sensation and not enough. Shinji lifted both arms, covered his eyes with the backs of his hands. The air had turned thick, almost liquid. Shinji could fool himself thinking that he was underwater. So deep that no light could reach -.

He kept his eyes closed when Sousuke peeled one hand off his face. Not when he felt the other’s lips and tongue on his eyelid.

“Let me in,”

Shinji gave a shaky laugh. “Ya’ve got yer whole _fist_ up my –“

“ _No_ ,” Sousuke all but _tore_ the other hand off the other eye. The grip on the wrist vice-like. The fingers had stilled uncomfortably inside. Shinji was forced to open his eyes. And was met with the same beast’s gaze he had encountered _that_ time, when his hand had passed over the old scar, an act that had caused the beast to strike. “Let me _in_.”

A kiss dropped onto his palm, followed by heavy nuzzling, down to his wrist, eyelashes fluttering against the pulse there.

“Can’t you trust me,” As Sousuke spoke, fingers pressed ever so slightly against Shinji’s inner walls, claiming another moan. “to not harm you?”

_Ya should look at yerself._ Shinji thought, not entirely without amusement. _All fangs and claws, all bare._ Before he could stop himself, Shinji spoke. Words came out surprisingly calm. “Can _ya_?”

There was a moment where liquefied air thickened even more. Shinji wanted to breathe in deeply to ensure he _was_ breathing. But then his breath was taken away as fingers roughly slid out of him. He lay panting. Air was chilly against damp skin but he didn’t dare close his legs, didn’t trust how his body would react to any sudden movement, feeling the unpleasant trickle of oil down his buttocks. Out of the corner of his eye, Shinji caught sight of Sousuke with his back to him and was already thinking about how they’d face each other come morning. Not even then, what will he say now? Just stay like this looking at the ceiling until his lieutenant dressed, becoming his proper self, and quietly went away?

An all-too-familiar screeching of blade against scabbard rang sharp through the air.

Shinji blinked as Sousuke turned with the naked Kyoka Suigetsu in his hand. _Okay, I probably messed up but isn’t this an overreaction –_ The sentence didn’t even finish in Shinji’s head before the zanpakuto was practically _thrown_ into his arms. Shinji yelped as steely cold bit into his heated flesh, as the hilt clashed against the all-too-sensitive – and yes, still hard - organ between his legs. Shinji heard a dull thud of the oil bottle rolling onto the floor. Before Shinji could make sense of any of that, Sousuke spoke.

“Keep the edge against me.”

With that, Sousuke bent over him again. Teeth and tongue on his throat. Unheeding of his zanpakuto’s edge that was about to cut into his own neck. Shinji hastily turned the blade down flat, ending up with the sword cradled tight against his body – really, between _their_ bodies as Sousuke draped himself over his captain. Shinji shivered as the sword's surface pressed down on his nipple, rubbed along the swollen bud as Sousuke shifted. The pressure of the hilt was painful against his cock. Shinji managed to sound something like protest and the pressure was relieved. Mainly because both his legs were hoisted up over his lieutenant’s shoulders. Ankles dangled over the sweat-slippery slope and Shinji automatically clamped his legs around the other’s body. Sousuke inserted his digits between Shinji’s buttocks once more. Except this time, the fingers didn’t go deep, hooking at the edge of the entrance to stretch further –

Shinji’s right hand dug into his lieutenant’s shoulder, strong enough to elicit a grunt, when he felt something _not_ a finger against that oiled spot. Well, nothing he hadn’t expected. It didn't help at all with the flutter of panic in his belly. His muscles tightened –

Sousuke surged upwards so sharply that the sword wobbled and, for an instant, balanced on its back. Shinji, horrified at how close the other’s flesh was to getting cut to ribbons, snapped the blade down flat again.

Sousuke chose that moment to enter him.

Shinji managed to bite off the end of a scream.

Even then, it wasn’t complete. After the initial penetration, it slowly, slowly, went further in as the taut muscles gave. Until fully sheathed, so to speak, to the hilt. Shinji choked at the sheer, overwhelming _fullness_. He heard Sousuke breathe in hard, face buried in his shoulder, cheek dangerously near Kyoka Suigetsu. Words rumbled along Shinji’s collarbone.

“I’m going to move,”

_Not exactly a request, but I suppose the announcement is nice._ Shinji thought wryly. And his lieutenant suited action to the words.

At first, it was strange more than anything. Both the physicality and situation. It felt as if he were slowly being turned inside out. But inexplicably satisfying, like a fierce scratching until the skin was raw and tender. Then there was just the _thought_ that this was his _lieutenant._ Aizen Sousuke, inside him and moving. When the sensation was coupled with that thought, something sharp and piercing went through the top of Shinji’s head down to his belly and lower, to spread all over his body, like some high-pitched note echoing in his bones, seeping into his marrows, ruffling his nerves in tremors and climbing up to a crescendo, reaching for a place _just_ out of reach. Shinji couldn’t tell when the whole thing had blurred from strangeness, to near pain, to agonizing pleasure. Shinji’s legs slipped down the other’s shoulders to wrap around the waist, heels digging into the dip above the smooth buttocks. Hipbones clashed.

“I can feel you breathe,” Sousuke whispered, almost wonderingly, “ _pulse_ against me, all around me,”

Shinji almost replied _Same here,_ and let out a cough that was a halfway laugh. _Report exchange,_ he mused.  _The usual._

But then Sousuke shifted his hips and hit a spot that his fingers had previously found. Shinji arched his hips so high that his joints cracked, felt his inner muscles clench involuntarily, causing the other to moan and thrust in deeper.

Shinji had forgotten about the zanpakuto, so warmed by two moving bodies that he hardly felt it shifting between them. Then came the rude awakening when Sousuke suddenly dipped downwards, crushing Shinji’s chest. The force rattled the sword and Shinji frantically laid a hand on the zanpakuto as if to calm her down. But it was too late, Kyoka Suigetsu had scored a long slice on her master – along the line of the neck, the right shoulder, just down to the chest. _But you’re flawless –_ Shinji let out a loud whimper as Sousuke nearly pulled out of him.  

Sousuke didn’t seem to register the cut, even as blood welled up and flowed down the lines of his body, a drop beading on the tip of a nipple. Shinji unconsciously clutched the zanpakuto tighter as he felt the other’s devouring stare. Those ‘flickers’ Shinji had glimpsed before now had blossomed into full burning. _You caused this_ , those eyes said. And it sent thrill along the whole of his being. Having that consuming flame concentrated just on him, licking him up. Taking in the whole of his flushed body, the heavy rise and fall of his chest and his too-loud pants, the moist hardness between his legs. And all the while Shinji was intensely aware of the emptiness inside him, echoing and throbbing, like he was a bell that had been rung.

His lieutenant groaned. His hand brushed hair from Shinji’s cheek. Shinji shivered as that hand ran down the side of his body, to feel the twitching of his pelvis, up the damp thigh, to where they were still tenuously connected, stroking where that tight ring of muscles strained against his length. “Has-“ Sousuke started, then bit his lip, as if angry at himself. Shinji was about to ask when Sousuke slammed back into him without warning. Practically lifting Shinji off the futon. And from then on, there really was no room for thinking or hesitating.

Shinji felt both buoyant and heavy. His limbs were a mass of contradictions - all loose and watery, yet thrashing and wild as they wrapped around the body moving over him, taking it in deeper, fusing it to his own. Or perhaps it was Sousuke takin him in, and Shinji had mistaken it for his own doing. After all, it was Sousuke’s fingers carving grooves into his behind, bringing him up and impaling him again and again. It didn’t matter because the boundary between them was no more. He heard his own sighs and and cries mix with Sousuke’s deeper, guttural utterances, with the sound of their wet flesh slapping together. Shinji sucked in the drop of blood from Sousuke’s nipple, lapped at the slit across the man’s neck, his chest. The tang of it as sharp on his tongue as the piercing thrusts. His own dripping cock chafed against the other’s stomach. The blade kept sliding slick between them, warm and still deadly and somehow, adding to the arousal.

It dimly occurred to Shinji that Sousuke was trying to draw out the moment as long as possible. Stilling or changing the angle whenever either of them were close to going over the edge, even though it was clearly driving both of them mad. Shinji suspected he’d probably feel stupid later on but one of them dying of overwrought, unfulfilled pleasure was becoming a real possibility. Shinji managed to wriggle a hand in between them. He’d meant to give a hard stroke to his own cock but only managed a rough, brief tug against it. Turns out, he was nearer the breaking point than he’d deemed. After a second, he’d given himself.

As heat spilled between them, Shinji clamped down tight on Sousuke. Sousuke pushed his face into Shinji’s shoulder, muffling his shouts as he released hard inside Shinji.

They lay still for a while, breathing in each other’s skin. Sousuke gave a few languid thrusts that Shinji responded to with idle sighs and a couple of weakened squeezes. Sousuke slowly slipped out, rolling off of Shinji to sprawl beside him, his head pillowed on the long yellow locks strewn across the sheets. A dull ache flowed along Shinji's lower body. It didn’t even feel like a part of him right now, only barely linked to him by threadbare nerves. Perhaps it’d belonged to Sousuke for the past hour, and needed time to come back. Shinji carefully drew up his legs together. Stopped when he felt wetness leaking down his behind, staining the sheets underneath.

His lieutenant turned over to face him. He gathered Shinji into his arms - the latter complying because he was too tired for anything else - one hand stroking the yellow head while the other lazily danced down the nape, the back, down to the haunches, fingers lightly pressing into the stickiness. Shinji sighed exasperatedly.

“Yeah, ya’ve _been_ there,” 

Sousuke let out a laugh, tracing patterns along Shinji’s chest, along the surface of his zanpakuto. Sousuke’s blood had been smeared across both. Shinji was afraid to check the state of Kyoka Suigetsu. It was bad enough knowing that the blade felt as sticky and wet as himself. How the hell one went about apologizing to another’s zanpakuto he had no idea.

“Any way ya can convince her” – Shinji gingerly pushed the zanpakuto towards her master – “to not murder me in my sleep?”

“She’ll most likely murder me first,” Sousuke replied easily. He planted a brief kiss on the point of his zanpakuto – making Shinji wince – before capturing Shinji’s mouth in a considerably less reserved version.

“And ya _must_ get us out of that damn drill tomorrow,” Shinji quipped after Sousuke released him, shifting his sore pelvis. He hissed as pain shot up from his bottom all the way up to the spine, “I don’t think I can walk,”

“You can just sit on the sidelines, giving me instructions,”

“I don’t think I can _sit._ ”

Another laugh. Then Sousuke drew him close, so that Shinji’s head rested against his chest. Shinji inhaled the familiar warm smell. He absently licked the now-feint red line, tasting his own bitterness, the salt of their sweat with the hint of metallic tang.

“We should probably wash up before that gets infected or somethin’,” muttered Shinji, without real conviction. His toe brushed Sousuke’s own, traveling up the ankle. “Later,” murmured Sousuke into Shinji’s hair. His knee parted Shinji’s legs to slip between them. Shinji sighed again and eased into the embrace.

They spent the rest of the night like that. Limbs entangled, with Sousuke’s zanpakuto cradled between them like a child.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turned out a bit creepier on Aizen’s part than I intended. 
> 
> There was one major reason for including Kyoka Suigetsu as, er, a ‘participant’. One way to negate Kyoka Suigetsu’s Complete Hypnosis: to touch the blade itself. So yes, although Shinji might not be aware of it at this point, Aizen’s TRYING to show sincerity in his own way.


	2. Cherry Blossom Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Years ago, Shinji's former captain took him to see cherry blossoms together. 
> 
> Years later, his lieutenant also takes him to the cherry blossom field. But not only to see cherry blossoms. 
> 
> Or: Shinji tries to procure a unique breed of cherry blossoms for his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered just titling the chapter ‘Hanami’ – which means ‘flower viewing’ in Japanese. But… considering the nature of Shinji and Aizen’s… activity, ‘picnic’ might be more appropriate. 
> 
> The grafting procedure and plant breeding in reality is very different from the one mentioned here. (For one thing, they don't involve kido.)
> 
> I’m quite surprised at the continued appearances of Shinji’s former superior and Fifth Division’s Third Seat. They were supposed to be one-time characters but the former turned out to be useful as a framing device since he’s so oblivious and vain. As for old man Third Seat, I hope I’m setting him up nicely for his canon ending. (Because we know how Third Seat of the Fifth Division made his exit, to make room for wee Gin.)

The heavy layers of flowers sucked in the sounds of their footsteps.

There had been a light drizzle, and it squelched underfoot. Shinji felt as if the soft heap was pulling at him each step. That if he faltered, he might sink under, to be buried under the corpses of cherry blossoms.

Shinji tried not to think of corpses. Tried to avoid looking down.

Tenjou Soichiro kicked up small storms of wet petals, laughing and talking to his Third Seat animatedly.

“I was worried if the rain might ruin this, but the blossoms are still intact, Mei. See, that’s the one.”

The young captain pointed to a giant tree that rose above all its siblings. When the three of them were right underneath its looming branches - barely visible under the pouring pink blossoms – they could see the night sky filtered through translucent petals like veins under slices of pale skin. Looking up felt like falling upwards, drowning among that fluttering cold. Like being swallowed up into luminous bowels of some unlikely creature.

Mei gave a little gasp, eyes widening with a child’s wonder. The captain looked at her with a pleased grin.

“The biggest tree here. It’s even taller than you, Mei.”

The wind sent the branches stirring, surrounding them in a flurry of glowing petals.

“What do you think, Shinji? It’s awfully pretty, isn’t it?”

 _Yes, it’s awful._ Shinji thought.

Mei’s huge fingers reached out for a branch. Then she halted, hesitant fingertips just short of brushing the lowest-hanging branches. Suddenly, Captain Tenjou jumped, one hand outstretched. The snap of the branch rang simultaneously with Mei’s cry of dismay. The captain landed with a large bough that sagged with plump blossoms.

“It’s just a branch, Mei.”

He broke it in front of his distraught subordinate and handed out the larger piece to her.

“And one of many, you needn’t be so careful,”

 _That’s what ya never got to learn, captain. Y_ a _don’t know how to be careful with life._

After Mei gingerly accepted the gift, Captain Tenjou approached Shinji, the smaller piece twirling in his fingers. Shinji stood impassively as his captain stuck the bundle of flowers under the red ribbon that held his hair. Tenjou Soichiro absently took hold of a yellow lock and twirled it around his fingers as he’d been doing with the bough. At any other time, Shinji would’ve shaken the flower off his hair, would've made remarks about his captain’s silly antics. But now, Shinji let his captain do as he pleased.

Captain Tenjou stepped back. He still held the lock of hair, trailing it loose and long between them.

“You look fey like that, Shinji, amid all these flowers, like some sort of spirit,”

Shinji looked straight at his captain for the first time since they’d come here. A few petals had landed on the younger man's face. For one moment, they looked like splotches of blood.

And in his mind’s eye, Shinji saw bloody bodies strewn under them. Dead, pale hands reaching, rolling heads with mouths open in silent screams, broken limbs and shattered bones, all entangled in the fleshy carpet.

His captain stood amidst the field of corpses, wearing that child’s smile.

“Can we come here tomorrow, too?”

Mei’s voice broke through the illusion. Tenjou Soichiro slowly let the strands slip through his fingers as he turned towards Mei.

“Sorry Mei. We’re busy tomorrow. Besides, it’s prettiest tonight. These flowers are fleeting, after all. But we’ll come again next year. We’ll have a proper picnic and everything. Won’t we, Shinji?”

Shinji looked at the two of them. With the same innocent, expectant look. At the two children.

 _I’m sorry._ Shinji thought the words he’d repeat over and over down the years.

“I’d like to.”

It wasn’t a lie. He truly would’ve liked to. But he couldn’t.

This was the last time the three of them would come here, looking up at the devouring flowers.

 

* * *

 

“The mind is a strange creature, Captain Hirako. One can never guess what measures it’ll take to protect its master,”

So had Captain Unohana explained regarding Mei’s condition. Back when Shinji still flinched at being addressed as ‘captain’.  

“Her memory has regressed. A form of amnesia. Her mind had shut down and during that time of unconsciousness, it had whisked her back to past – to a time where she could survive.”

“Survive,”

“Yes, because the world where you killed her captain is not the world she could survive in.”

Captain Unohana’s tone was not unkind. But she wasn’t the one to mince words. Both knew Hirako Shinji was more comfortable with directness than any consolation. 

Any attempt to bring Mei to the present had been futile. If anyone told her what had happened, she’d just black out for days. Then she’d wake up with her memory in the past, prior to Tenjou Soichiro’s death. To a time where she wouldn’t have to deal with the conflict of seeking revenge for her captain’s death, and never being able to kill her friend.

“Will she ever recover?”

“If by ‘recover’, you mean regaining her memories - I do not see the possibility. I admit I fail to see how it would benefit her – as it’ll only bring her pain, whereas she’s free from it now.”

Ironically, Mei’s condition had been helpful in gaining approval that she’d be allowed to live in Seireitei, provided she’d be under constant supervision, cut off from the Tenjou family. But nothing could remove Mei from the Tenjou House, despite Shinji’s continued efforts.

“The best thing for her is to gain new memories, Captain Hirako. So that she’d have more than just shards of the past to live on.”

New memories. Impossible in that house of decay.

So Mei stayed in the Tenjou House, a prisoner of her own mind. Living through flickers of repeated pasts in the drowning sea of darkness.

Sometimes, during her ‘waking’ hours, Mei would be compelled to find her way back to the old division barracks in Seireitei, where death sentence awaited her as long as she was still of the Tenjou House. When Mei’s servant failed to coax her back, she’d ask for help from the one who could.

Mei always greeted her old friend as if they’d never been apart. To her, they never really had been.

 _What a sneaky bastard ye're, Hirako Shinji._ He thought. _To get away with killin' her captain, destroyin' her world and her mind, all without losin' her friendship._

“When are we going to see the flowers again?”

Shinji turned to his friend. He was, once again, guiding her back to the Tenjou House. They had taken a detour to give Mei more time to calm down - walking up a forest path lined with towering trees breaking out in heavy shoots, signaling the change in the season. The place was only just littered with occasional flowers but perhaps those sparse colors had caused that particular memory to resurface.

“The Captain promised he’d take us again to see the cherry blossoms, and have a picnic together,”

Then Mei guiltily hunched her shoulders.

“I hope he doesn’t hurt the tree again. I didn’t like it when he broke that branch. Don’t tell him though, Shinji, okay?”

Shinji smiled.

“I won’t, Mei.”

Shinji felt the woman's hopeful gaze on him, and he finally managed to rasp out a few more words.

“’tis a bit early fer cherry blossoms yet. Perhaps later.”

Repeated promises, never to be kept.

“When we go, don’t bring him over, Shinji.”

“Him?”

“The one with the glasses. I don’t like him.”

Shinji laughed. “Fer sure.”

It still surprised him that Mei actually remembered that encounter. But Mei talking about something other than their shared past was somehow – uplifting.

New memories.

That was when Shinji thought of Sousuke’s cherry blossoms.

 

* * *

 

…Which were really Shinji’s former superior’s.

The man had always been a better – certainly more eager – horticulturalist than a shinigami. His garden was one of the few places where he spared no expenses, and possibly the only thing he valued more than his reputation.

His latest obsession was developing a new breed of cherry blossom trees.

Shinji knew this because his former superior had paid a visit and gushed about his pet project, nearly putting him to sleep. After much passionate (and agonizing) speech, he finally got to the point: He was attempting to utilize kido to bolster the plant’s unique characteristics. Which meant he needed a deft hand at kido. So if Captain Hirako would be obliged to persuade Lieutenant Aizen…?

Shinji was mildly surprised that Sousuke had briskly accepted the task when asked. Perhaps because it'd piqued his own curiosity.

Shinji didn’t think much of it until, during one of his visits, Mei first mentioned their belated flower picnic. 

Although Shinji had been in a near-comatose state during his former superior’s lecture, some details had stuck: “…size of bonsai trees, these miniature saplings… rapid growth… can be grafted onto most trees so that you’d have a full-blown cherry blossom tree in just a couple of months….”

Sousuke had confirmed the man’s boasts: _A couple of months was an exaggeration - may take as long as half a year, but possibly faster during spring. Yes, they can be grafted successfully onto most fruit-bearing trees to achieve the look of a mature cherry blossom tree._

Shinji checked that there were a few old plum trees in the back forest of the Wailing Alley that might suffice. All in all, it seemed a stroke of luck.

However, when Shinji had requested for a few saplings, his former superior hemmed and hawed: Well, there are so few of them, without careful procedure, they’d die and it’d be a waste. They are so sensitive… Besides, they were meant for public services, donations to the Academy, the public square at the heart of Seireitei, the joint training fields and such, not for _personal_ uses… 

Frankly, they weren’t for sale.

“Perhaps ya’d be so good as to consider giving them _freely_ to an old acquaintance?” Shinji had said, words and the accompanying smile dripping with sarcasm that passed right over his former superior. So he had been left with only the assurance of _‘will think about it_ ’.

But the last meeting with Mei had strengthened his resolve. He was brewing up another approach when he came back to his quarters.

Then Sousuke knocked on his door.

 

* * *

 

After that night, things were different. Subtly so, but different. Largely because Sousuke made sure that it was.

For example: Sousuke was always wont to touch him more than necessary. A brush of thumb over the wrist, a fingertip lingering over the back of hand. But a day after that night, Sousuke did something else when he handed over the day's reports. As Shinji clutched the papers, his lieutenant's hands swept underneath his sleeves, rubbing up to the soft inner elbows. Smiling and looking directly at Shinji's startled face the entire time, reminding him. Yes, that happened. We did that. We _are_ that, now.

However, they hadn’t seen much of each other for the past week. Sousuke had been dispatched with other officers for a Hollow-hunting expedition. When Sousuke returned, Shinji was gone on an excursion to the Human world.

And when Shinji came back, there had been a familiar Hell Butterfly waiting for him and he had to shed his captain’s haori for the orange yukata.

Now, a familiar voice called from outside. “May I come in, captain?”

Shinji answered yes as he put on his haori. Sousuke entered wearing an expression that others would have described as neutral but to Shinji, almost looked… forlorn.

“Good call knowin’ I was back,”

“Yes. You returned later than expected, captain.”

Something about the way he said it was rather unsettling. Shinji warily sat behind his low desk, expecting the piled-up work report. But Sousuke walked right past him to sit right behind, a hand coming around to dip into the brush holder. Shinji had given up convincing his lieutenant that this was _not_ his office. The argument suffered in the light of the fact that Sousuke was the one who always knew where things were – papers, brushes, and other things that Shinji had misplaced. It was as if the lost items were determined to taunt their original owner by magically materializing whenever Sousuke was present. Even now – when Sousuke’s hand came up, it held the comb that Shinji had given up on a week ago. _How the hell had it gotten itself lodged there?_

The comb alighted on his head. There were tangles in his hair from being tied back with the ribbon. The comb went through them, undoing each. Slowly and meticulously.

“Ya don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.”

Something too warm and soft be the legs of a comb pressed against his scalp, dragging a line all the way down to the nape. The fingers picked up a bundle of hair. Shinji felt lightest thumps as the long locks fell from the hold to land on his back.

“Sousuke,”

Shinji half-regretted calling out. Not now. His instinct told him. The air around them felt taut, sharp. But - it’d be the same as now or later. Besides, he might not get a chance for personal conversation for several days – as their busy week wasn’t over yet.

“Those cherry blossoms ya’ve been workin’ on, are they finished?”

“Yes. I did not think the time I spent on it had any bearing on division work but – “

“No, no, ‘tis fine. I just – Do ya think ya can get some of those trees fer… personal keepin’?”

There was a pause. The comb stilled in his hair. Shinji was about ask again when his lieutenant spoke: “For you?”

The first impulse was to say yes. To lie. Except the lie would be evident. They _lived_ in the same division. It wasn’t as if Sousuke _wouldn’t_ notice the absence of those cherry blossoms around his personal quarters. The next thought was to give any random name. But Shinji just couldn’t picture himself giving such a gift to any of his friends. At least, not those in Seireitei. 

And there was the simple fact that he didn’t _want_ to lie. Not after what happened between them. Not with Sousuke’s fingers in his hair.

So Shinji replied with curt truth.

“No.”

Silence. From the edge of his vision, Shinji sighted the comb being gently placed on the desk. There was a rustle as the presence behind him stood up. Then Sousuke was sitting down composedly in front of him, the picture of a proper subordinate.

“Sousuke-“

“The reports from the expedition to the 80th district,”

Shinji’s mouth stayed open as Sousuke serenely continued. 

“- Ten Menos. Which is no more than the past Hollow activity witnessed in that area. By the way, I’ve taken the liberty of commending the Fifth Seat of the Seventh Division since –“

 _And the ten-year old strikes again_. “Sousuke-“

“Captain, lieutenant,”

They both turned at the voice, which barked for a permission to enter. As Shinji replied, the owner of the gruff voice roughly slid the door open, revealing the equally gruff face of Third Seat. He conceded to a brief bow towards Shinji before addressing Sousuke.

“I see you caught the captain just in time, lieutenant. Although I’m surprised that you convinced him to stay for work instead of going off again to the Alley,”

Shinji looked at Sousuke, and back to the old man standing at the door. _Ah._

“Captain Hirako was already like this when I arrived, Third Seat,”

“Ah, my mistake, then. It is difficult to tell whether he’s coming or going just by the state of his attire, you understand,”

“If ya two are finished pretending that yer captain ain’t here –“

The two made a show of bowing simultaneously towards their captain. Shinji snorted.

“What’s this ‘bout, Third Seat?”

“There was an invitation, captain, lieutenant.”

The old man rolled out a scroll for them to read. It was from Shinji’s former superior, inviting both Shinji and Sousuke to his courtyard that afternoon for the inauguration ceremony of his special cherry blossoms.

“Ah, your supposedly fast-growing, _parasitic_ flowers,” – a hiss, like an inward spitting – “Unnatural,”

Third Seat thrust his chin towards the younger man.

“You _do_ like to _tinker_ , don’t you, lieutenant? Almost as much as our captain _cannot_ well let alone.”

Aizen Sousuke gave one of his rare, knife-thin smiles.

“Well, one is allowed  _some_ indulgences. You, of all people, should understand, Third Seat.”

“The trick is, lieutenant, to know where to draw the line.”

With the brief ‘captain’ accompanied by a jerk of a nod, Third Seat excused himself. Shinji was sure that the old man’s parting remark was directed at _him_ as well.

When the old officer was well out of earshot, Sousuke turned to Shinji with a rueful expression.

“Couldn’t you have said something in our defense?”

Shinji huffed.

“Why? It ain’t like what he said was _wrong_.”

 

* * *

 

Three hours later, Shinji found himself perching irritably on an artistically twisted tree root that served as benches in his former superior’s courtyard. Timing-wise, it wasn’t turning out to be his day. Answering the invitation hadn’t even occurred to him but the moment he stepped out of the division barracks for a respite from his officers, he’d been assailed by his former superior. The latter had practically dragged the unfortunate captain to the ceremony.

Shinji was bewildered at the amount of horticultural passion dwelling in Seireitei. There was quite a crowd - apparently excited about the event. (It was strangely understandable to see Lieutenant Sasakibe there.) Shinji maneuvered to the very back, trying to hide among the drooping sleeves of blossoms.

His former superior launched into speech that, if carved in stone, could probably pave a handful of districts in Rukongai. Shinji tuned out the words as he glanced about. He had been impressed with the garden the moment he’d stepped into it, despite himself. What made it more than merely beautiful was that, according to the proud proprietor, most trees here had _not_ started out as cherry blossom trees. Shinji wouldn’t have noticed at all apart from the fact that they bloomed in full while their more ‘natural’ brethren elsewhere still politely waited for the proper announcement of spring.  

Shinji looked up. The overhanging canopy of delicate, pinkish white cast a dappled shade over him, dotted with patches of sunlight that dripped through gaps between the piled-up petals. He would ask his former superior again. The man would eventually cave, although it’d be a right bother till then…

Shinji didn’t turn when a familiar presence sat down beside him.

“Ye’re late than expected.”

“I had to finish up a week’s worth of paperwork. Because a certain captain left without doing his part.”

“Yeah, well, ya can see I’m sufferin’ fer it,”

Shinji folded his arms, still not looking at his lieutenant.

Shinji let his mind wander again. So old man Third Seat had seen him coming back from the Wailing Alley and told Sousuke. Which… explained the latter’s peculiar state. How Sousuke had made the connection between his request and Mei was a no-brainer, really.

What Shinji wasn’t sure about was that Sousuke seemed to go out of his way to pry into the past when any mention of it seemed to tick him off. Shinji was aware of what Sousuke had been doing, even before Hiyori attempted giving him a subtle hint. Except subtlety and Hiyori were mythical beings to each other. Hiyori’s effort largely consisted of tossing names and words haphazardly like a child tossing pebbles into water, hoping the next one would skip just a little further. In the end, Hiyori resorted to the tried-and-true method of kicking her friend – it was all _his_ fault for making things awkward, and for making his officers weird.

Shinji felt that it was a little unfair of Sousuke to present it as if _Shinji_ was the one unwilling to divulge the past. After all, Sousuke had never _asked_ him.

_And if he did, what would ya tell him?_

A hand tugged at his obi.

Shinji frowned. It was one thing for his lieutenant to tidy up his clothing. But no-one adjusted anyone’s obi unless one was their mother. Shinji was about to let Sousuke have it when he felt that hand slip under the obi, pushing aside the clothing to slide inside his hakama.

Shinji couldn’t react because of sheer incredulity.

In fact, he tried to find a reasonable explanation for his lieutenant’s hand rubbing up his thigh. The only one he could come up with was that he’d dozed off and was dreaming. Shinji surreptitiously pinched his arm. The pain didn’t convince him as much as the feeling that shot up to his spine when that hand palmed him over the undergarment.

Shinji barely managed to not jump, biting down the gasp. There was no escaping the fact: Aizen Sousuke, the irreproachable officer, was _groping his captain in public._

The blond whipped his head to glare at his officer, who was a picture of calm as he kept his gaze forward, as if his whole attention were on the speaker. Except the errant hand kept moving. Stroked gently over that sensitive spot. Tremulous sensation spread over Shinji’s body, thinning out to a tickle inside his stomach.

 _What the Hell do ya think ye’re doin’,_ Shinji was about to say. But they were too close. His nose almost grazed Sousuke’s neck. When Shinji opened his mouth, the latter’s warmth invaded in, snuffing out his furious words. Sousuke’s fingers strayed over to where the thigh began, carefully going over that fold of skin. Shinji had to stifle a yelp behind his hand when one finger slipped inside the undergarment and brushed over his throbbing flesh. He was now leaning on Sousuke, his body too taut to support itself, toes curling, breathing in deeply.

He sensed Sousuke lower his head, mouth touching his earlobe. He rolled his eyes to the side. Caught the blurry sight of brown curls, edge of glasses. A whisper trickled into his ear.

“… Let’s get out of here.”

Shinji felt a tinge of satisfaction that the younger man’s breath felt hotter than usual, a bit hoarse.

The speaker had turned to address the screen of cherry blossoms behind him. The hand retreated and Sousuke pulled him up. Shinji wobbled as the latter whirled him around. Shinji felt heavy below his abdomen, as if filled with liquid that pulled him down each step and the rest of his body floated shakily upon it.

The walk began slow and silent, so that no-one would notice two stooping backs getting away. But once they had ducked under cover of lined trees, they broke into a trot. Sousuke kept a firm grip on Shinji’s wrist and Shinji was reminded of a certain night, years ago. Except that time, when they were running down the Wailing Alley, their positions were reversed…

Sousuke led him to what Shinji assumed to be the back corner of the courtyard. There was a walled-off area, through which Sousuke went in without stopping, a brief light flashing by as he made a gesture with his hand, a kido lock deactivating.

If someone had looked down from above, it’d have been as if some giant had rolled up a ball of cherry blossoms and the two had plunged inside it.

Shinji blinked and tried to shake the too-bright colors out of his eyes. Cherry blossoms enveloped them - up over and all around – blotting out the sky itself. Shinji gave into a cough fit. It felt as if an invisible fist made of distilled fragrance was shoved into his throat and nostrils. He stumbled and thought he’d stepped over a pit. Then he realized that their feet sank into layered piles of fallen petals, like trudging through thick snow.

The garden they left behind – it’d been carefully sculpted, each branch immaculately groomed, flawlessly set up like demure May brides. This was nothing like it. There was too _much_ to be beautiful. Overhanging branches frothed in all shades of white and pink. Fluttering blossoms rubbed and piled up over each other obscenely. Shinji was reminded of a summer fireworks festival he’d once attended. Near the end, the staff had dispensed with the elaborate performance and had thrown every remaining firework all at once – lighting up the night sky. Unpretentious, uncoordinated and monstrous. The lights had exploded all around Shinji, sparks smashing into his very body.

“Wha – “ Shinji barely managed to sound out. His lieutenant actually graced it with a slightly breathless reply: “Tree nursery, doubling as an experiment field,”

Sure enough, Shinji could see here and there, glimpses of dark trees limbs. Many unfortunate trunks barely held their ground, creaking under the weight of many-blossomed branches, looking like a victim of multiple stabbing twisting in the throes of pain. While their torturers siphoned the bleeding sap and squirted out gouts of congealed fragrance.  

_Broken bodies speared to the wall, slippery with red flow -_

“Yes, it’s awful.”

With that, Sousuke abruptly halted and spun his captain around, crushing their mouths together. The rim of the glasses pressed into those of their eyelids. There was fumbling and the glasses dropped unceremoniously among the flower-heap.  

They only had a moment’s respite to take a brief, wet breath. Then their mouths closed upon each other again, as if that hair’s breadth of space between them were a coiled spring drawing them violently back together. Shinji gripped Sousuke hard to support both of them. He had to, for Sousuke was too busy undoing Shinji’s obi. When the kosode fell open, Sousuke’s hand traveled up to Shinji’s chest, palm flattening over the spider-web scar. Long fingers pressed hard as if to stretch out the scrunched-up skin. Sousuke’s mouth released Shinji’s to trail down the chin, the throat, down to the nipple between the veins of hardened tissues. Shinji breathed in a moan at the feel of hot tongue, the bud stiffening at the hint of teeth, flinched as the other nipple was pinched. Then that hand snaked downwards. Shinji shuddered at the feel of hakama sliding down his legs along with his undergarment. Sousuke didn’t bother with the upper clothing. Perhaps intentionally. For the hem of kosode brushing against Shinji’s naked thigh only emphasized how bare he was, how exposed.

Sousuke’s hand roughly rubbed down Shinji’s stomach, to his hips, until it cupped the hardness between his legs. Then Sousuke tugged Shinji close to him so that Shinji could feel the other’s arousal against his stomach.

Sousuke brought them down on their knees. The heap under them was damp with dew and sap. Sousuke kept Shinji’s legs apart and Shinji shivered as petals licked at the sensitive flesh like thousands of ghostly tongues.

Sousuke pulled off his captain’s sandals, the tabi. Kissed the ankles, pressing a little painfully on the jutting bones. He then pushed Shinji onto his back, arranged his body like a sacrifice, upper clothing riding up so that the lower body was in direct contact with the flowers underneath.

Shinji had _read_ the phrase ‘tumble-among-the-flowers’ in a book – _Thank you, Lisa_ – but he’d never imagined he’d ever _participate_ in it. He might die of shame later on. But right now -

Sousuke’s hands dug deep into the heap below to lift Shinji's hips, together with flowers. Parting the cheeks of his buttocks so that petals rubbed intimately into that area hidden inside the crease. As he twitched and moaned, Shinji wondered if some of the petals actually got _inside_ of him.

Sousuke bit the quivering flesh of the belly. His nails scratched along the growth of hair at the junction of thighs that he spread wider. Shinji’s pants changed to a shout of surprise as his legs were suddenly lifted, draped over the other’s shoulders. Then he felt wet heat along his inner thighs, up to the base of his cock, over his heavy balls, just tantalizingly avoiding that part that begged for stimulation. Just the _sight_ of that brown-curled head buried between his legs was enough to tip Shinji over the edge. Shinji groaned and pushed the back of his head into the soft heap, fingers squeezing juices out of flower-flesh as his body moved helplessly.

“Ah!”

Shinji couldn’t help the unbidden exclamation when Sousuke’s mouth engulfed him fully, felt tongue sweep up the liquid that had beaded at the tip. Shinji’s pelvis was off the ground and he couldn’t even thrust properly while his body was wrecked with assaulting sensations. It wasn’t exactly as Lisa’s lewd books had described the act. It seemed less about causing pleasure as it was tasting the other’s body, trying to sate one’s hunger through this mock-act of devouring.

Shinji’s arms wildly flailed about, unable to find an anchor, and fell fist-down, frustrated. “Sousuke – ha, ah-“ Shinji managed in between labored breaths, “Sousuke-!”

A heel sharply kicking the broad back finally warranted attention. Dangerous, for he'd felt his lieutenant's teeth upon him at that moment.

The ruffled brown head came up. Glazed eyes rested over Shinji’s. It was an infuriatingly childlike expression. Then a tongue ran over glistening lips, marring the picture.

“Sousuke, I don’t want to,”

A puzzled look flitted over that visage, soon gave way to that of impending disappointment. Similar to the expression Shinji had seen before on another face, years ago. Shinji quickly scrambled up and cupped his lieutenant’s head in his hands, kissing him to dispel the wrong assumption. “Not all over yer face,” he whisper-laughed over the mouth that tasted of him, felt those lips loosen into a smile.

When Shinji was sure the other was assuaged, he pulled back to prop himself up on his elbows. Coldness rushed in between his legs. Shinji twisted his hips, burrowing into the flower heap to cover his moistened flesh under. Or perhaps it was a flight response. After all, that particular part of him had just possibly escaped being eaten. Sousuke watched him with amusement.

“You look like some wild spirit,” Sousuke spoke as he draped himself over Shinji again, “luring hapless victims to devour them,”

Shinji tutted. It really was an unfounded accusation. _He_ wasn’t the one doing the devouring just now.

_But as long as his impertinent subordinate had said it –_

Shinji slid his legs up the other’s. Wound it over his waist to thrust up at him. Sousuke readily ground down as Shinji wrapped his arms around Sousuke's neck as if to kiss him again.

Then he locked his limbs tight and flipped them both around.

_-he might as well live up to it._

Sousuke seemed genuinely surprised at the sudden change in their positions. Shinji grinned as he settled comfortably atop the younger man. He stroked the brown curls, mussing them further before sweeping them up the brow, the other hand untying the knot of the shihakusho. 

“Ya know, fer such a diligent officer who’s _so_ quick with his hands…”

Shinji nuzzled at the other’s neck, whose deep breathing vibrated up his hips. 

“…ye’re remarkably negligent regardin' yer own state of undress.”

Shinji pushed the garment aside, ran his hands slowly over the revealed flesh. He already knew this body to be unblemished and smooth. It still unnerved him. Shinji was used to people carrying evidences of their past on their bodies. Himself with his scars. Hiyori with that white mark on her left shin, remnant of a nasty fall from the olden days. Kensei with his angry welt on his right shoulder from a Hollow bite that he claimed still ached on rainy days. Tenjou Soichiro, with red lashes across his back, that knotted flesh across his stomach -  

It was as if Aizen Sousuke was molded in a vacuum, without any past, brought to a perfect existence at a certain point in time. Shinji never remembered him to take injury or bleed. He wondered if that slash caused by his own zanpakuto on _that_ night was the first wound he’d ever suffered –

He knew it couldn’t be true. But the thought caused a twinge in his gut.

Shinji bent over and licked a line down across the other’s chest, went down until his chin came against the edge of Sousuke’s hakama. Shinji pulled at it. Sousuke helped, hastily pushing down his hakama until it bunched off messily at his ankles. Scandalous for such an impeccable officer. But Sousuke didn’t seem to care as he reached up to draw his captain’s long hair around them. His hand swept under Shinji’s remaining clothing to run down his back, descending each bump of the spine, the dip at the waist, kneading his buttocks.  

Shinji slowly slipped down along those nimble hands, down to the pelvis and licked an agonizingly slow line along the erect cock, firmly pressing down the convulsing hips. He heard a near-cry as his tongue smacked off the tip. Then he flopped down with his cheek against the other’s erection. He felt the frustrated shift of the body below. But Shinji was determined to take his time. 

Shinji let his hand wander between those legs - stroking the tight balls, rolling them in his palms, poking at the folds of responsive skin underneath while he nibbled at the soft hair that tickled his face, enjoying the feel of desperate movement beneath him, the deep groans that seeped directly into his bones, the pulse that beat through the swollen length pressed flush against his face. Shinji drank in the warm smell, salty and raw, a piercing note amidst the cold sweetness that permeated the air. His fingers traced along that hot, silky flesh, kissing the wet tip. He pressed closer, so that his own hardness was against Sousuke's leg. He moved along with Sousuke. Flowers crushed to a mulch between their undulating bodies. 

Shinji then closed his mouth over the other’s arousal. Sucking experimentally –

The reaction was immediate. There was a sharp heave, and the hard tip hit the back of his throat. There was a growl and Shinji felt hands grasp at his hair. At the same time, the pressure inside his mouth receded as Sousuke shifted his hips down. When Shinji was sure he was no longer gagging, he drew back a little, although he still kept the head of the cock in his mouth. There was a slight pull at his scalp and Sousuke let out a shuddering breath.

“Captain, Captain... Hirako, I want to see your face,”

Shinji hummed as if considering. Tongue flicking over the quivering head, knowing fully that Sousuke was trembling with the effort of trying to not thrust deep into his mouth and choke him.

After one hard suck that caused another harsh jerk of hips, Shinji complied. He brought himself up, as slow as he went down. Making sure Sousuke’s soaked arousal trailed all over his body – rubbing against his hardened nipple, pressing into his navel, pushing against his own painfully hard cock.

Sousuke seized Shinji to draw him into another hungry kiss. They writhed together, their heat mingling. There was a sheen of sweat all over Sousuke now, gathered thick along the dip of his collarbone and lines of muscles. The tang of it stung Shinji’s tongue as he mouthed down his lieutenant's chest.

Shinji sat up to straddle his lieutenant. Planted his knees on either side of Sousuke's hips, balancing on them, capturing the other's cock between his inner thighs, a hand slowly stroking the base of it.

Then Shinji began to move earnestly. The other's moist length clenched fast one moment, then released with just enough give for sliding through the tightness of his thighs. Repeat. In and out, in and out. Sometimes it chafed unbearably against the underside of his own bouncing cock. Shinji could feel Sousuke’s hoarse voice and the beat of his heart directly shooting up through the hard flesh caught between his legs, setting his whole nerves a-thrumming. Soon their panting breaths were in sync as was the up-and-down movement of their bodies.

Shinji shifted a few times so that that the other’s erection pushed between his buttocks. That near-penetration set his insides on fire, made his bones ache. Judging by how Sousuke nearly lifted Shinji along with his thrusts, he wasn't wholly unaffected. 

Shinji flicked a glance to see his lieutenant’s rare flushed face. Eyes shimmering with something like ravenous urgency. The look pinned him. A mixture of fascination, fear, and desire ramming through.  _Too much, too much._ He needed to do something to break from its hold.

He put a finger on the head of the thrusting cock. He poked at the dip in the center and the viscous fluid flooded the empty crescent between his fingertip and the nail -

And Shinji raked down the whole length.

Sousuke snapped his head back, gave a loud groan, body arching so that Shinji could see skin stretching taut over the ribcage. Then liquid heat splattered all over Shinji’s thighs. It sent such a flash of ecstasy throughout the whole of his body that Shinji bent over, overwhelmed. 

Shinji didn’t see Sousuke surging up to take him.

Shinji was suddenly thrown against Sousuke – now sitting up – nose pressed painfully into the other’s collarbone. His own neglected erection – almost to the point of bursting – was wrapped in Sousuke’s hand. Sousuke's other hand ran over Shinji’s legs, smearing his own seed, reaching behind. 

Sousuke’s hand started moving, and Shinji helplessly thrust into the hole of his fist. Muffling cries on the other’s throat as the cruel hand pumped, tightened, or a finger rubbed his painful tip _just_ roughly enough. The fingers behind him probed into the cleft of his buttocks, just short of breaching. Shinji could feel them spread the slickness over the folded skin inside. And the memory of how it felt when Sousuke had first entered him rushed in – the burn of it -

Sousuke’s mouth dipped down to swallow Shinji’s cry as he came.

They sat leaning against each other, sure that they’d collapse otherwise. Getting their breaths back even as their bodies gave off little spasms as the remnant of lust still buzzed along their exhausted nerves.  

Sousuke stroked Shinji’s hair that hung heavily around them, sticking to their skin. He was the first one to speak.

“It’s a pity that this place mutes your own scent,”

“…Hmm?”

Sousuke held Shinji a little apart so the confused captain could see his smile.

“That sweetness, it thickens when you’re like this,”

Shinji didn’t dare ask what ‘this’ referred to, exactly. Sousuke peeled a petal off Shinji’s inner thigh and licked it off his finger like one would sweet-crumbs.

“I can almost taste it off your skin, like nectar,”

Shinji blinked, not knowing what to say. He wondered whether his previous lovers were just too polite or too embarrassed to ever mention this fact, or whether Sousuke (Hell, perhaps _Sakanade_ ) was just messing with him.

Fortunately, Shinji didn’t have to respond because Sousuke turned him so that he was hugging Shinji from the back. Sousuke adjusted Shinji’s clothes over them to reclaim some semblance of respectability. But Sousuke didn’t bother to tidy up his own uniform. Instead using Shinji’s body as his cover. So beneath the volume of clothes, Shinji’s behind was against Sousuke’s softened cock. And Sousuke’s hands were between Shinji’s splayed legs, caressing the tender area.

Shinji sighed and settled back. The blossom-bed they sat on was now warm. He’d have to upturn the area they had their little ‘tumble’ over before they left, so that the… unsullied petals covered the evidence. Because while he didn’t have much warm feelings towards his former superior, the poor unsuspecting man didn’t deserve to walk over _this_.

Breath from the back tickled Shinji’s ear.

“You can take as many saplings as you want from here. I’ll give you instructions for them,”

 _And I suppose the best time to make the offer was while fondlin' my balls._ Thought Shinji, perhaps a tad ungraciously.

“…Thanks,” muttered Shinji in a low voice, “won’t the man –“

“I’ll tell him later on. I have this much privilege over these plants, anyway,”

Shinji made a noncommittal noise. He was glad he wasn’t facing his lieutenant, and that his hair hid the blush that shot up to his ear. He realized just _what_ these blossoms would remind him of from now on.

Just to let off a bit of steam, Shinji drawled: “So, did ya just coerce me into usin' sex to pay ya back?”

Shinji yelped when the large hand _squeezed_. He threw a scowl at his subordinate, who returned the look with an utterly peaceful one. After a futile moment of glowering, Shinji turned away.

“Suppose I deserved that,”

A breeze set up a tornado petals dancing around them. Some latched onto their already petal-smudged forms.

“I hear ya’ve been doing some diggin' for old stories,”

The presence at his back said nothing.

“Hadn’t taken ya fer the type to pick at scabs,”

“Is it a scab to you, captain?”

Sousuke's hand brushed just above the scar they both knew.

Silence reigned for a minute. Then Shinji spoke, a little hesitant than he’d have liked.

“I thought ya didn’t care to know,”

“I want to _know_ , it’s just – “

Shinji felt Sousuke bury his face in the long locks. The next words were spoken against his nape, through wisps of hair.

“I don’t want to hear it from you.”

Shinji blinked again. Opened his mouth, shut it, and managed: “Ya know, most people mean it the other way 'round?”

There was a chuckle. The next words were pressed more firmly into his skin.

“When I hear about it from you, that’d make it a part of you, and –“

Sousuke broke off. Shinji was sure this was the first time he heard his lieutenant fail to finish a sentence, outside of the times Shinji had interrupted him. Too bad the atmosphere didn’t lend itself to teasing.

So instead, Shinji took Sousuke’s hand in his. Stroked it as Sousuke had done – days ago, hands riding up under his sleeves.

For long minutes, no words were exchanged. Only the slow movements of their touches rippled along the stillness.

When the next gust of wind set the trees singing, Shinji shook himself from near-doze.

“We should get goin'. Now, those saplin's –“

“First, we should look for my glasses.”

“’We?’ Ye’re the one that tossed 'em away so carelessly!”

“I’m sure _you_ knocked them off, captain.”

In the end, they managed to find the glasses buried quite deep right under them, miraculously unscathed. It provided an excuse for their less-than-commendable appearance when they made it back to the Fifth Division barracks.

Unfortunately, Mashiro and Kensei were there to fix the joint training schedule. And their eyes widened as they took in the flower-drenched state of their colleagues. Before either Shinji or Sousuke could offer explanation, the green-haired shinigami shouted just where had they managed to find cherry blossoms this early in the season, and how dare they have that much fun without inviting them. 

It was just as well that Shinji’s face was hidden behind an armful of blossoms.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Barely managed to complete this chapter before the cherry blossoms are all gone. :)
> 
> About the summer festival fireworks part, that's actually from my own experience. Still the best fireworks I've ever seen.


	3. Many Happy Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinji asks Aizen what he wants for his birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another PWP chapter with lots of creepy-fluff. 
> 
> …Which somehow ended up being the longest chapter. And perhaps the most edited. 
> 
> Some warnings: I’m beginning to see why horror element is so often connected with sexual themes. There seems to be an inherent body horror potential linked to the latter. I’ve realized that while writing this chapter. Therefore, some images might come across a tad disturbing. Also, a mild form of dominance kink.
> 
> I should point out that Shinji and Aizen aren’t exactly practicing safe sex here. (Lack of protection and permission/forewarning is only part of it.) Please note that there are also exaggerations and simplifications at play here regarding the, ah, specific procedures. 
> 
> Bakudo is a defensive kido – barriers and seals made of reiryoku. 
> 
> Kenpachi here is Kiganjo Kenpachi. NOT Zaraki Kenpachi whom we all know and love. He’s the one Zaraki killed to take over the title of Kenpachi. His canon portrayal is… far from favorable. Shinji's description of him is something like: ‘a lazy, piggish thug’. 
> 
> I actually checked Shinji and Aizen’s official birthdays and was pleasantly surprised that both fell on May (Shinji’s on 10th and Aizen’s on 29th). Which couldn’t be better for the purpose of this chapter.

The first thing Shinji saw upon entering his lieutenant's room was Kyoka Suigetsu.

The zanpakuto leaned on the wall, out of its usual resting place. An unlikely slip from the Fifth Division's lieutenant. Except Shinji knew it to be perfectly intentional.

Shinji glared at the sword. Kyoka Suigetsu seemed to give a scandalized reproach:  _Do you think I_ **asked** _to have anything to do with this?_

He briefly considered going further inside, away from the zanpakuto -

_'The deal is in effect the moment you enter the room.'_

Shinji sighed and pointed a warning finger towards the zanpakuto.

"Don't _ya_ say a word."

Kyoka Suigetsu was a picture of indignant innocence. Shinji shook his head and, turning away from the zanpakuto, took off his haori.

 

* * *

 

Shinji had known since the first time he'd laid his eyes on him that Aizen Sousuke was far from the picture he painted for other people.

But even he hadn't expected how - how – (Knowledgeable? Avid? Downright scary?) - _liberal_ his lieutenant could be when it came to matters of - intimacies.

Hell, the things the boy said - _did_ \- would make Captain _Kyoraku_ blush. And make Lisa take fervent notes, her glasses fogging with enthusiasm.

The word _prude_ was the last word - maybe not at all - Shinji would use to describe himself. But when it came to bedroom situations with Sousuke, Shinji wondered if he'd been one all his life and had just been oblivious until Sousuke alerted him to the fact. There were a couple of embarrassing situations where Shinji had trouble understanding the younger man's suggestions. And when he _had_ , Shinji had to declare that anything entering his body must be _organic_.

The boy had probably composed a specific list, and was diligently ticking off each item.

It was annoying how easily Sousuke got his way. Shinji didn't appreciate how his body had gotten used to Sousuke's touches. The way his flesh became loose like wet layers of paper for Sousuke's fingers to slip through. 

Taking all that into account, he really shouldn't have asked Sousuke what he wanted for his birthday.

 

* * *

 

They'd known each other's _birth dates_ for a while. Since his lieutenant's was only about three weeks apart from his own, it was difficult for Shinji to forget. Sousuke couldn't help knowing _his_ because Shinji's friends forbid that he ever had a quiet birthday, his own opinion on the matter being moot.

It'd been a few years since the two dates became more than just _awareness_ for each other.

Sousuke was to blame. _He_  was the one who started giving Shinji _things_. Nothing overly extravagant that Shinji could outright refuse, but with enough presence to bother him. Sousuke didn't even do it face-to-face. He just left ‘gifts' in places that Shinji would notice. Shinji had questioned his sanity when he stumbled upon a bouquet of daylilies blooming from his work desk one morning. Next year, he found an ornate butterfly-shaped netsuke nestling on his laundered haori.

To his lieutenant's restrained but obvious chagrin, Shinji would make sure to 'pay back' - or retaliate. An impromptu lunch the next day, an 'accidental' rip on his lieutenant's shihakusho so he'd have an excuse to buy him a new one. Once, he'd forced a monthly bonus on the whole division so that Sousuke had no choice but to take it.

Throughout it all, neither of them had ever said 'Happy Birthday' to each other. And Shinji's 'paybacks' always happened before Sousuke's actual birthday. So technically, they weren't celebrating each other's birthdays.

Therefore, it quite threw Shinji off when Sousuke asked him what he wanted for his birthday, after they'd become... what they were.

He was about to retort _‘Forget ‘bout it’_ \- but he recognized the tone. The one that indicated,  _'I'm going to torture you relentlessly until you give me something to work with.'_

It took a day for Shinji to come up with something reasonably innocuous: Anything from a certain small but popular confectionery store. His lieutenant looked visibly crestfallen at this mundane request.

Since Shinji's actual birthday would be full with the usual gang, the younger man wisely took the precaution to clear both their schedules a day before. Shinji had no idea how Sousuke had managed to sweep away the mountain of papers that'd occupied their desks - a gift in itself - so Shinji had been in quite a joyful mood when his lieutenant took him out for dinner.

Shinji soon realized that he'd relaxed his guard all too soon.

There were establishments in Seireitei that Kensei would call 'posh' while wrinkling his nose in distaste. Such restaurants would have shriveled into insignificance next to the place Sousuke had chosen.

"It feels like I'm chewin’ money."

Shinji had commented sourly, gingerly picking at the gilt-flecked slices of sashimi so fresh that it almost jumped at the prodding chopsticks.

"It didn't cost much. The proprietor owes me a favor." The lieutenant had assured Shinji. Apparently enjoying the meal and bemused at the captain's discomfort as the latter muttered, “Seems like everyone owes ya favors.”

As for the requested gift - since it was a given that Aizen Sousuke didn't do  _regular_ , the box of sweets - of course it'd be a BOX - was the most elaborate and exclusive merchandise the shop had to offer. At least the contents tasted  _like_  sweets and not a gold leaf. And the two tasted them afterwards on each other's tongue, tinged with the sting of sake, upon returning to the captain's quarters. 

They'd fallen asleep hours later, their tangled bodies covered with sweat.

There was one last surprise. Shinji woke up next morning to the feel of unfamiliar clothing wrapping his body.

A yukata of light turquoise patterns. Elegantly simplistic in a way that politely announced 'costly'. 

"Something _I_ wanted to give you."

Shinji couldn’t comment on his lieutenant's explanation. For Sousuke had immediately pulled him into an embrace, pressing the soft fabric into Shinji's still-tender places.

Weeks later, Shinji pounced his lieutenant with the same question. And the latter answered.

After a moment, Shinji asked again. The answer was repeated. It didn't sound any different than the first, nor any more understandable.

"So... lemme get this right," Shinji wet his lips, hesitant. "Ya want. Me. To spend. A whole day. In. Yer room. _Without. Anything. On._ "

"That is correct, captain."

"Ya want. Fer your birthday. Me. In yer room. Fer an entire day. _Naked_."

This was rewarded with a firm nod. Shinji almost asked him to write it down. But he wasn't sure he could survive the experience of seeing that request in Sousuke's neat handwriting.

"Ya gotta be jokin'. I couldn't..."

"You can do the paperwork in the room. I'll make sure your other schedules are cleared. I myself can finish up by six -"

"So I’ll be cooped up in yer room, exiled to paperwork while in my - _ha_ \- birthday suit. Fer what?"

"You _did_ ask what I wanted - "

Shinji brushed the remark aside with a sweep of his arm. His skin tingled under the rustle of fabric.

"Since ye'd be workin', how would ya even _know_ I'd not cheat? I mean, I _could_ spend the day fully clothed and just chuck everythin’ when ya return, right?"

Sousuke blinked. Then gave a smile that had no call to be as bright as it was.

"Well, it's the thought that counts."

 

* * *

 

_Curse that boy, birthdays, and my damned sense of fair play._

Shinji stepped out of the heap of clothing pooling on the floor. He shot a final accusing glance at Kyoka Suigetsu. One could almost imagine her mutter placidly: _'It's nothing I haven't seen before.'_

Shinji huffed and turned. Moving to the center of the room in broad strides. His hair swished along his bare back, buttocks, and legs. His cock bounced off his thigh in one step and he winced. This was ridiculous. He wouldn't think twice about stripping naked in his office, or even here, with or without Sousuke around to watch him if he felt like it. He _had_ done so before, during the unbearable heat of summer, after a bout of training or a Hollow hunt and he was too lazy in between the change of clothes. If his lieutenant had admonished him for his indecency, he'd have eagerly done so all the more.

Just the fact that Sousuke had specifically _asked_ him for this made the whole thing uncomfortable.  Sexual. _Titillating._

Shinji breathed in deeply. Sousuke's reiatsu permeated everything. Setting his skin abuzz. Sousuke usually kept his reiatsu composed, to the point of being barely noticeable. But Shinji had seen rare instances where its true nature peeked through - how devouring it could be.

The reiatsu here was something midway. Like a sleeping beast or the depth of a calm sea. Warm and sleek. And underlying it, a promise of deadly power. A flicker of it reached out to lick his flesh, causing Shinji's body to tighten.

Perhaps being tense was only a natural reaction. To be so vulnerable in a predator's den.

_The better to eat you with._

Of course, the room itself looked anything but. It was, like everything about Aizen Sousuke, tidy and tasteful. Even the uppermost nobility would have no compunction about holding a tea ceremony here.

It was almost a pity that one couldn't ignore the stack of papers that sat as a centerpiece on the low table. Around it were sets of prepared food to be warmed up, a bowl of fruits, and other snacks.

The yonder shelves were filled with books - kido and history texts - and...  "The Garden of Immeasurable Del..." _What the Hell is one of Lisa's recommended readin's doin’ here_. _I thought that was just a one-time-thin' -_ And... ah, yes, Sousuke still hadn't returned those journals with Sherlock Holmes stories.

Shinji turned his attention to the lacquered wooden cabinets lining the other wall.

Well, when the boy suggested this he must've considered that snooping was par for the course. 

Shinji went through the drawers one by one. Calligraphy set... sword cleaning kit... spare obi... Work-related letters... It struck him that there was very little that was personal. But he couldn't say he was very surprised.

The last drawer yielded the most inexplicable, and therefore the most interesting, item - lengths of silk. Dark blue or - ha, indigo. Shinji dragged them out, feeling the fineness of it slither along his palm. Too thin to serve as an obi. Yet too wide for ribbons. Unable to get any answers, Shinji rolled them up and tucked them back into the drawer.

Next, he walked into the innermost area of the room - divided by a portable screen. The owner of the room had thoughtfully laid out a futon behind it.

He absently scanned the surroundings and sighted a mirror on the opposite side, propped on a low shelf. Just the height to reflect...

Shinji hurriedly sat down on the futon so that the mirror now reflected his grimacing visage instead of his crotch.

The sheets rumpled between his legs, rubbing pleasantly against the inner thighs. Shinji carefully settled back. Shifted slightly so that the mirror showed his upper torso. He touched a spot just below his left nipple. The bite-bruise was gone now. No wonder. They hadn’t had any time to themselves since _his_ birthday. It was not the only place Sousuke had left marks, but that one had been particularly painful. Shinji had been startled when he was dressing the next day in front of his own mirror - as though a smoky fuchsia flower had blossomed underneath his skin.

Shinji fingered the bud of flesh, pinched it with his calloused digits. It didn't do much when _he_ was doing it himself. Whereas Sousuke just brushing it above his clothing made his body hum. _I guess it ain’t the same if ye’re scratchin’ yerself, as opposed to someone else doin’ it._

Shinji slowly lay down to burrow into the sheets. He still had a lot of time to kill and the futon was enticing, with a hint of familiar scent…

 

* * *

 

_"I wasn't sleepin',"_

_“As you say, captain.”_

_This only made Shinji break into further indignant exclamation._

_"I was thinkin’, thinkin' hard,"_

_"Then, do you agree that we should cut it down to two thirds, captain?"_

_"Sure, why not?"_

_"Then, I shall write a proposal to cut down the division budget to that amount."_

_"Fi – wait, what!?!"_

_Shinji shot forward to look at the paper his lieutenant held._

_"When did we get to this page?!?"_

_"When you were - thinking ‘hard', captain."_

_Shinji glowered at the tranquil face of the younger officer. Stabbing at his own copy of the report._

_"Well, what 'bout the joint trainin' issue?"_

_"We weren't getting anywhere with that. So I thought we could move on to another issue just to refresh our minds. But, I see that wasn't so successful."_

_Shinji had no intention to retract his glare but a huge yawn that came unbidden ruined it. Sousuke gave a sympathetic smile._

_"Anything I can do to relieve your... fatigue, captain?"_

_Shinji snorted._

_"No thanks. I remember the last time you 'helped' me to keep awake. "_

_A few days ago, there’d been a captains' yearly meeting at the First Division. Shinji had trudged out during the afternoon break bored out of his mind. He'd complained to his lieutenant – who was also out of_ his _lieutenants' meeting apparently poised and attentive - and the latter had taken him aside to a corner hallway._

_Somehow, Sousuke’s hands found their way underneath Shinji’s hakama. And Shinji had to bite the back of his hand to stop himself from crying out._

_Shinji spent the rest of the meeting with his body quivering with the feel of Sousuke._

_The blond shifted a little, hoping the other didn't notice his discomfiture._

_"My thinking was more in line with a stroll or tea, captain."_

_"I don't think that's gonna help. Only wastin’ time."_

_"Or you could touch yourself."_

_Shinji blinked. The boy had said it as if he were saying_ 'If you could turn to the next page, please,' _or something equally humdrum._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"It might distract you from sleep."_

_Shinji opened his mouth, closed it, then finally spoke:"Don't ya think it might distract from_ work _?"_

_"A bit of multi-tasking might prove more productive. And I'd like to watch. It’d be… educational.”_

_Shinji rubbed his face, trying to push down the rising heat._

_"Ya know what, I think I'm awake enough. Let's get back to that joint trainin'."_

_"I'm not sure there's a point,"_

_Sousuke's posture became loose a minuscule amount, and his tone gave a slightest weariness that'd have surprised many who weren't Hirako Shinji._

_"The complaints from the staff are getting repetitive. And they themselves are reiterations of complaints from all the other divisions who had -_ attempted _\- joint training with the Eleventh Division."_

_"That damn boar Kenpachi and his rascals are sure puttin’ in a lotta effort to make this a right mess,”_

'I'd like to watch.' _Ha._

_Shinji adjusted his hakama. His hand straightened a fold between his legs and stayed there._

_"We can put in a request to be reassigned."_

_"Not happenin’."_

_Shinji waved the suggestion away, while his other hand pressed just slightly over the cloth._

_"To avoid unnecessary hassle. We won't be the first division to ask for it."_

_"Exactly why we won't do so. It'd be like givin’ up."_

_His fingers crept up to the upper edge of the hakama. Fiddled with the loose knot. It was easy - almost accidental - for his fingers to slide under the cloth, under the shadow of the low desk._

‘It’d be educational’, ya say. But I'm really rememberin’ _ya_ doin' this. Those long fingers of yers edgin’ along my hakama, snakin' in as if ye’re entitled. ‘tis infuriatin’, but I let you _._

_Shinji flicked a look towards Sousuke, who had his eyes downcast as he sighed._

_"Such children's dare takes precedence over the division moral?"_

_"That children's dare_ is _what's gonna decide the division moral. I aint' havin’ the Eleventh Division struttin’ 'round Seireitei chortlin’ 'bout havin' put one over us."_

_Shinji took a deeper breath near the end of the sentence, as he stroked himself over the undergarment. Sousuke sometimes liked to torture him over that last thin barrier. Palming him until the cotton was soaked - then breathing over the wet patch so that Shinji shivered at the sudden cold -_

_Fingers kept brushing across the bulge that grew warmer under that small piece of clothing._

_Shinji slowly, carefully unfolded one leg after the other – as though he had an egg between his legs, his hand tighter in his thighs. Shinji dragged another cushion behind, leaning back with a sigh. Sousuke met his languid look with his usual chiding expression, but Shinji fancied there was amusement in it._

_"So, what do you suggest?"_

_"I'm the stubborn one. Ye're the sneaky one."_

_"Rather an unfounded accusation, captain."_

_At times, the younger man would press his face against Shinji’s swollen flesh, smelling, mouthing over, his arousal. Swallowing his sighs through his erection. Sometimes his lieutenant would be content to leave him wrecked on the edge of unfulfilled pleasure. But more often than not, that was about the time the last garment would be undone._

_Shinji shoved himself back further into the cushion. His hand pushed down that now- restraining undergarment. Shinji stifled a sigh as his erect cock sprang out. Hips giving a light thrust at the direct touch. He threw a glance towards his lieutenant. Perhaps it was his imagination but those brown eyes seemed darker._

_"But since you... accuse me so, may I suggest an... idea."_

_"Hmm?"_

_Shinji moved his pelvis, only marginally careful not to openly grind._

_"For the next joint training, we can propose the time and place."_

_"Ah, you propose -"_

_The undergarment was now down to his knees. He shook his legs until it slipped further down to his foot._

_"-so."_

_Shinji kicked it off. The white cloth slid past the black folds of his hakama, out in the open where the only other occupant of the office couldn't fail to see it. Shinji looked at his lieutenant as his hidden hand continued to rub._

_"Yes."_

_The reply was uncharacteristically curt. Accompanied with the sound of the desk being pushed aside. Shinji cocked his head towards the other's long fingers clutching his hakama. Sousuke kept his eyes on Shinji's as if all these things weren't happening._

_"I was thinking... the grounds near the Seireitei public square. Next Tuesday."_

_The lieutenant tugged at the hakama. Hard. Shinji quirked an eyebrow and moved his other hand round his waist, taking hold of the hakama's knot and unraveling it completely._

_"Ain't that... when the Central 46 are havin’ their annual gatherin'?"_

_"Very astute of you, captain,"_

_"And the First Division'd be there, headed by the old man Captain Commander himself, fer a full-blown officiality,"_

_Shinji showily draped the loose ends of the tie over his hand. Let them slip through his fingers. He saw Sousuke smack his lips._

_"Nothing escapes you, captain."_

_"So why would we wanna do a joint trainin' there and then, particularly?"_

_Shinji lifted his hips helpfully as Sousuke pulled down the hakama. The cloth trailed over the tip of his cock, making his pelvis ripple._

_"I believe the captain of the Eleventh Division would be rather blind to such context."_

_"I wouldn't be surprised if he could care less,"_

_Shinji allowed his lieutenant a glimpse of his naked erection before covering it with his palm, not quite pumping, but slowly massaging._

_"Yes, and it would be... unfortunate if the Eleventh Division stirred up a... disturbance there."_

_The voice had dropped to a purr that vibrated under one’s skin. The younger man’s gaze was riveted between Shinji's legs now. Intensely watching as Shinji's hand caressed the underside of his cock. Hips undulating in a slow rhythm._

_"Such disrespect so near such an important event would..._ rouse. _.. Captain Commander's ire."_

_"Ahhh.... and the result would be?"_

_"A probation for the division found responsible, thereby leaving the... other innocent division in need of another joint training partner.”_

_"That's... not only nasty but - extremely childish, Sousuke,"_

_Shinji looked at his lieutenant with hooded eyes and grinned. The boy's gaze was like another hand milking his cock. He passed a finger over the slit, flattening a bead of precum. He thought he heard the younger man breathe in a little heavily._

_"I think... some_ urgin’ _.... may be needed... for the Eleventh to... cause a, ah,_ suitable _ruckus,"_

_Shinji threw his head back with a moan. Bent his legs so that his arousal was in plain view. Sousuke was taking full measure of it. Looking, studying Shinji trailing a finger along the seam that ran down between his balls._

_"Is that what you'd like?"_

_Sousuke murmured low and thick as he watched Shinji make circles over the patch of flesh just above his hole._

What I like is watchin’ ya watchin’ me, just like this.

_"Suppose someone could... provoke them."_

_Sousuke approached Shinji until he was kneeling between his captain's legs. The closeness of him an sent a throb through Shinji’s center. Biting down a groan, Shinji slowly, fully, folded his hand around his cock._

_"To make them act... rash... Even more so than usual."_

_Shinji saw Sousuke's mouth part. A tongue darting out to lick the upper lip. Shinji began to move his hand earnestly._

_"Mmm... that person might... have to shoulder, the, ah, blame... hnnngh.... Should there be any, accusations - "_

_His hips moved back and forth as he continued to pull at his cock. Sousuke seemed to drink in the sight._

_"Difficult to - pin such a job - haaah - on someone...."_

_Close. He was close. He blinked heat out of his eyes - and saw Sousuke raise himself up on his knees. His own arousal tenting his shihakusho._

_Sousuke began to undo his own hakama._

_"You can put it on me."_

_"You. Lieutenant."_

_The clothing fell, undergarment and all - and Shinji panted as he took in the other's hardened length, his pelvis lunging up as if it jerked him towards it._

_"Yes."_

_Sousuke spoke harshly. Leaning over, hands on either side of Shinji's bucking hips, his abdomen tantalizingly near Shinji's straining cock._

_"On me."_

_Looking directly into amber eyes, Sousuke thrust forward so that his erection almost brushed the tip of his captain's._

_Shinji came with a sigh-like cry. Milky liquid splattering all over his lieutenant’s lower body. His hips gave a violent shake and sank, all boneless. He rolled his head back, chest heaving, the disheveled shihakusho and long hair plastered upon his sweat-coated body._

_Shinji idly tapped his softened flesh. Looked up at the smoldering eyes of his lieutenant._

_"But, no-one will believe ya to be the troublemaker,"_

_He tilted his head to the side, smirking._

_"I suppose that'd be the point?"_

_"Very much, captain."_

_So saying, Sousuke took Shinji's dripping hand to wrap around his own hardness._

* * *

 

His own moan startled Shinji. He had no idea when his hand had snaked down, stroking the already half-hard flesh there. The sheet scrunched underneath as his hips rolled in tandem with the errant hand. Thighs squeezed together, feet rubbing against each other as the ticklish sensation built up -

He drew a shuddering grunt and slapped his thigh. He wouldn't be able to live it down if he ended up masturbating in his lieutenant's room. 

Shinji sat up. He didn't dare sleep here now, lest some dirty dream took over when he was unconscious. Which meant...

"Should've asked fer makin' paperwork disappear, that time,"

He shook his head and stood.

 

* * *

 

Shinji wrung stubborn droplets of water from his hair. Looking out the window, he was surprised to see that dusk had already fallen.

Time had passed surprisingly easily. Shinji was actually proud of the amount of papers he'd gotten through. Perhaps being naked in his officer's room had a hitherto-unknown boosting effect in his workmanship.

Whenever his attention drifted, he broke away into the tales of the English detective. It felt vaguely sacrilegious to read them in such a... state and Shinji found himself trying to bury his body as much as possible under his hair as he flipped the pages.

There had been one instance where a report tumbled down to land right on his crotch. Shinji picked it up and upon finding that it had to be signed by Captain Commander himself, tore the report to shreds and wrote the whole thing over. The image of the old man signing the spot that'd been kissed by his cock was not something he wanted haunting his life.

Shinji clicked his tongue. The staff would start to get off work right about now. Shouldn't have taken the bath just now, he thought as he irritably twirled the still-wet locks. Because it'd look too much like he'd been readying himself for...

Huffing, Shinji knelt down by the lamp. When he poured the contents of the oil bottle that was right under, the unmistakable fragrance of camellia wafted out. Simultaneously triggering a memory and a flush that shot up to the tips of his ears.

The cheek. The sheer _cheek_ of that boy.

He lighted the lamp with his teeth grinding. _Ya gotta thank me for restrainin' myself from settin' the room on fire_ – Soft light soon suffused the room, the flowery scent seeping through the evening haze -

Movement of familiar reiatsu touched Shinji's senses in a similar manner.

He briefly toyed with the idea of going back to the table, not even looking at his lieutenant, claiming:  _'Still some work left. Ya wash up and sleep.'_

But already there was the sound of the outer entrance opening. Snorting, he stood up.

He swiped open the screen door before the presence at the other side could touch it. 

Shinji scowled at the pair of blinking eyes behind the glasses.

"Sousuke," he muttered by way of greeting, standing skewed, fingers tapping along the edge of the door. He saw brown eyes widen and a sudden suspicion arose. Shit. Had the boy been joking, after all? Perhaps he hadn't expected that his captain would really...

Then Shinji was thrown back.

His back hit the wall. Wet hair caught between skin and papered surface, scraping painfully against bare flesh. But Shinji couldn't say anything since the other's mouth was on his. The force of the kiss pushed the back of his head into the wall. Instead of protest, only a groan escaped him to be devoured. Sousuke had _literally_ swept him up by the cock. It was embarrassing how quickly that hand brought its captive to aching hardness.

Sousuke released him just enough for them to take a gulp of moist air. But Shinji didn't even have time to wipe the saliva trickling down his mouth before Sousuke took him again.

"Sou...suke...mmmph..."

Shinji managed between tongue-sore kisses. Sousuke didn't reply as he licked his captain’s chin. Biting kisses dotted down to the collarbone. Shinji gasped when wet heat swallowed his nipple. Sousuke's wandering fingers had already brought those dark-hued buds into stiff peaks. Shinji couldn't help squirming as Sousuke's tongue swirled over that sensitive part. He stood on tiptoes, toes curling, avoiding collapse solely due to the other holding him up.

"I've been thinking about you all day,"

First words his lieutenant spoke since he'd entered the room, and Shinji couldn't make a decent comeback. Sousuke roughly peeled him off the wall. Maneuvered - _carried_ \- him towards the table to lay him down on his back, limbs dangling off the table. Shinji shivered at the chill of the smooth wooden surface.

"Imagined you sit here, as you're wont to do, papers rolling down your legs,"

Shinji _had_ done it. He often perched upon desks while working, hoping that a change in position would relieve the boredom. Only this time, he'd jumped off at the first graze of lacquered wood. A rude reminder that this wasn't his desk, nor his space.

"How your buttocks would rub against the wood, how the cheeks would part at that, your warmth clouding over this surface."

Sousuke ground against him, pushing his trembling body along the table. 

"How this room would be tinged with your reiatsu to mingle with mine even days after."

Shinjis legs floundered, stretched awkwardly so. The wooden edge dug into the backs of his knees. Heels dragged along the tatami floor.

"Do you know how difficult it was to get through the day? Too many times was I tempted to pleasure myself, with the image of you in this room, spread out like this..."

Sousuke's hand fluttered down between Shinji's legs. Scratched the growth of hair there, at the base of the erection. Cupped the tight balls. Shinji nearly whimpered as Sousuke's mouth dipped into his navel, continued downwards to take bites out of the soft flesh of his thighs.

_So ya really were educatin' yerself, that time._

Shinji thought to himself when Sousuke lingered over the flesh under his arousal, skillful hands gently massaging. Lips and tongue followed the passage of those hands. With hints of teeth. Shinji almost choked when that tongue swiped a spot just above his hole.

Then suddenly everything stopped.

Shinji blinked open his feverish eyes to see Sousuke heave himself up. There was a ridiculously chaste kiss on his cheek, then a whisper:

"I want to try something."

Shinji inclined his head in silent response.

"Do you trust me?"

Shinji frowned, pulled back his head to get a good look at the younger man. The glasses were gone, either adroitly removed or thrown off sometime during the scuffle. Shinji would never get used to that visage. Those brown eyes so dark that they reflected nothing, like the abyss that looked deceptively flat because it was so unfathomably deep that it gave away nothing. And yet - times like this were when Aizen Sousuke looked so painfully _young_.

Such a contradiction. Or perhaps fitting. Such a young, predatory creature. So pure in its hunger.  

The predator ravaged his mouth again and Shinji returned it. It apparently counted as acceptance since Sousuke smiled, withdrew murmuring,  _'A moment, please,'_   leaving his captain laid out breathless on the table.

_Like a dinner gettin' cold. Ha. Tasteless._

Shinji glanced towards where his lieutenant had sauntered off to. Sousuke had opened one of the cabinet drawers to pull out long strips of silk that Shinji had pondered over. Shinji looked up curiously as Sousuke came back with the incongruous load.

Sousuke picked him up. Heedless of the silken material unrolling over the yellow hair, all the way across the captain’s back and haunches. Shinji opened his mouth to let Sousuke have it - _I'll kick ya if ya don't let me down_ \- but trails of indigo streaked over his vision. Sousuke took advantage of the distraction to swiftly advance into the inner part of the room and deposit his captain unto the futon. Face down. 

This was unexpected. Sousuke usually preferred to face him…

Sousuke raised Shinji's hips so that he was on his knees, with his ass up in the air.

"Just relax."

"Ya know, when ya _say_ that -"

Shinji's arms were slowly stretched back. Loosing balance, his head dropped, a cheek pressed into the futon. Shinji turned his head to see what was going on but Sousuke gently pushed him back with a kiss. His wrists were now touching outer sides of his ankles. Shinji flinched when he felt softness of the silk over them. Noticing it, Sousuke mouthed over his palms, the bottoms of his feet. That didn't help with the icy feeling that crawled up his spine as the fabric tied around the aligned limbs. It didn't help that he could break out of these silken bonds anytime he wanted. All his training, his instinct, raged against being restrained thus. In such a humiliating position. Anger flared up towards the other for daring to attempt such on his captain.

Yet a part of him found it exhilarating. This fascinating, strange freedom of being at the other’s mercy, illusory as it might be. 

The confusing emotions shot straight to his cock. Beating their frustrations into that sensitive center, pulling the flesh tight and sore. 

Sousuke meticulously brushed off locks of hair still clinging to his back. While the other hand pulled at the knot at his limbs, testing them, perhaps gauging his reaction to them. Then both hands raked down his back, hovered over his tailbone in a soothing motion, began to knead his buttocks. Then slipped inwards to push apart the cheeks -

Something soft and wet swiped over the widened cleft. 

Shinji gasped. His hips pulled away reflexively, only to be jerked back by those firm hands. Hot breath ghosted over the licked skin and Shinji buried his face further into the sheets to muffle the inarticulate noise that came out of him.

The tongue flattened itself right over his hole. Lapping upwards, unbearably slow. Shinji's back curved, squeezing that tongue between his buttocks and inciting a low groan from the other that echoed directly over - _inside_ \- his flesh.

Sousuke's hand came up to gently press down on the dip at Shinji's waist, so that his ass jutted up and was even more open to the plunder of the other’s tongue.  

"Sou...suke..."

"Shhhh."

Shinji shuddered as the sibilant breath blew right into him. The younger man peppered the skin around that spot with dry kisses, as though to assuage this tense body, but deft fingers provocatively rubbed and pinched at the flesh right below in mockery of his mouth's effort at appeasement. It didn't matter in the end because both only served to kindle the fire between Shinji's legs, spreading wild over the whole of his body. Shinji did his best to smother the pathetic sounds that leaked out of his mouth, without much success.

"Relax, captain, just leave yourself to me."

_Easier said, ya bastard._ _And with all the blood rushin’ to my head_ – not a single part of that remark made it out as fingers widened the wet crease, as the tip of the other’s tongue caressed the rim. Shinji could feel his hole gape and clutch - _pant_ \- and he was almost glad of the pressure on his head for providing a small diversion.

"You're unbelievably hot here, captain. It feels even hotter when I taste you."

A wail broke out of Shinji as Sousuke penetrated him with his tongue. The tip of it tickling the inner edges before pushing further in. His fingers clawed uselessly at the bonds and his own straining feet. Sousuke's hand linked with his, a pretense of some respite, then moved between the sweat-damp thighs to fondle his balls, flicked them with his fingers, stoked the heat in them with his palm, as he continued to lick. Sharp coldness pierced the blond whenever the other briefly came up for air and Shinji couldn't decide which one drove him madder - those sudden slaps of chill or the slippery warmth that invaded him. His body pushed back, being hauled back to that tongue like a hooked fish. Shinji would've been ashamed if he'd had any mind to spare. For Sousuke's hand was now teasing his erection. Almost-grips that continued to slip off, as though trying to reign in something floating away only to keep missing at the last moment.

"So...Sousu...ke... dammit..."

"Hmmm?"

His lieutenant's chuckle reverberated against the inner flesh. After a long, languorous lick, Sousuke’s mouth finally left him. Shinji let his exhausted, still-twitching ass sink onto his heels. It became easier to breathe, with the weight now mostly on his folded legs.

There was a rustle. It occurred to Shinji that Sousuke was still fully dressed. He craned his neck as far as he could and caught a glimpse of a bare back. He buried his head back into the futon before Sousuke could catch him looking, not knowing why.

The telltale scent of camellia wafted up anew. Shinji's hips leaned back at the first oiled stroke. The other’s fingers moved in full appreciation of that response. Pushing in slowly, alternating between fleeting touches and vicious rubs up to firm pressures into tender inner walls. Sousuke's mouth was on Shinji’s back. Tattooing something unintelligible through the salt-sheen over the taut flesh. He found it gratifying that the younger man's breath was harsh and heavy as it liquefied moist and thick upon his skin.

A finger brushed just short of that sweet spot and Shinji bit into the sheets. His own hair, scattered over the cloth, cut into his lips, tongue.  

A vague thought dawned. The way those fingers moved was different somehow. After the initial scissoring to have him stretched, the fingers felt content to just play there, scratching some patterns into the inner walls as one would draw abstract shapes over misted glass. A finger curled inside and –

" _Ah!_ "

Shinji jerked so hard that he might've rolled onto the side if not for Sousuke holding him. Like a firecracker going off inside. Then that bloom of fire _congealed_ , solidified into a mass of burning cold. It was more than just a tactile sensation. This scalding reiryoku -

_Kido. The fucking bastard had just shot a damn kido up his ass._

Probably a modified version of bakudo, from the way the reiryoku retained its bulk. Despite himself, Shinji was _impressed_ \- such control was masterly, something the top officers of the Kido Corps would be proud of.

Of course, if the said officers had actually witnessed just _how_ such control was being utilized, they'd have marched off to somewhere quiet and calmly put their eyes out.

Sousuke's finger smoothly circled the rim of muscles and Shinji's concerns for the blissfully ignorant Kido Corps officers promptly evaporated. For the kido inside him _expanded_ \- straining his walls, pressing into _that_ spot -

Shinji held his quaking pelvis. Not daring to move a muscle. This was something he had never experienced. This concentration of someone’s else’s reiryoku flaring, vibrating inside. It was just too much. He was going to _burst_ -

Sousuke slowly pulled his hips. Shinji couldn't resist because fighting it would cause more tension, make his muscles clutch all the more -

"Sousuke... don't.. ya _... dare_...! Ugh!"

The sentence cracked into a scream as the kido rolled away from where it was lodged deep and _knocked_ against his sweet spot. Then any words melted into sobs as Sousuke kept the rhythmic push-and-pull motion on Shinji's hips as if he were rowing. Surely the boy was doing something with that infernal kido because of how it didn't just push against that hyper-sensitive nub - but also _fluctuated_ , the reiryoku flowing into every crevice to set all his nerves ablaze. At times changing shape to nearly envelope, to _suck_ at that kernel of flesh which made Shinji see white behind his eyes. His body was moving on its own, helplessly enraptured by the exquisite torture implemented upon it. As the undulating movement increased, so did the uncontrollable cries climb up to crescendo.

"The sounds you make,"

Sousuke murmured. Tightly squeezing his captain's buttocks. "The _sounds_ you make." Shinji gave a high-pitched keening in answer. His fingers managed to scoop up folds of sheets under, clinging them to his palms, a meager support against the agony. Yet his inner flesh stretched towards the source of the torment, driven by some masochistic attraction.

Sousuke’s hands were back to his sides again, but this time to slow the furious movement. Shinji felt the other's body drape over the back. The hot, stiff flesh flush against his buttocks. 

Sousuke began to move against him. His own arousal pressing - but not penetrating - into him. The other’s shapely chin jabbed into Shinji's nape, the supple flesh filling the hollow of the blond's back. Shinji's thighs were hurting, and the dense heat between them was overwhelming, he was going to -

Then the world spun. Sheets and hair scratched his back. Sousuke had flipped him over.

Tied legs naturally fell open to the sides, feet askew, wrists held up by the ankles they were bound to. Sousuke took Shinji's legs and slowly, deliberately, pushed them apart even more. Fingers skimmed the tip of Shinji's dripping cock, then moved up to rub the aching nipples, leaving them slick and cold with his own fluid.

Light pummeled Shinji's eyelids. The room seemed brighter, and the camellia scent was suffocating. His bleary eyes took in a couple more lamps burning around them. Sousuke had obviously done more than preparing him when he took out the oil - 

Sousuke was staring down between the captain's shivering thighs.

_The better to see you with._

The slight vertigo distracted Shinji from becoming too aware of the indignity of being so fully displayed for the other's scrutiny while trussed up like something hunted. Not to mention how his body reacted to it. The younger man’s gaze plucked his hips forward, despite being hardly able to move. 

"What a sight you are."

Then Sousuke kissed him down _there_. Shinji felt the delicate flesh contract and open at the contact, as his mouth did when Sousuke kissed him like that. Drinking moans out of him. Drinking _him_. As Sousuke sucked, Shinji felt the reiryoku inside him dwindle, its fire doused. The gradual hollowness left in the wake made him feel the heat of his sweet spot more acutely. Bloated and inflamed by having been suckled so by the other’s reiryoku, its anguished tremors rippling out, and the whole body thrummed like one giant palpitating heart. It was a wonder his inside wasn’t in tatters. It felt like the kido had pared slivers off the inner walls, just short of bleeding, soft and mushy like the peeled flesh of an overripe fruit, waiting for something to sink into it. 

Sousuke came back up, propped himself on his knees and reached out for the bottle of oil without taking his eyes off from his captain. It was the first time Shinji had seen him fully since they'd been in the room together. And he couldn’t look away. It was a wonder that anyone could even move with such a hard-on. Wet and looking nearly purple at the tip. Shinji licked his lips. He wanted to touch it, swallow it, squeeze it - he wanted - _needed_ to do _something_ with it.

It must've been apparent in his face - in his body - because Sousuke was making a show of lubing himself. But the way he groaned and ground his hips hinted at his own need. And Shinji's desperate arousal throbbed in sympathy. Sousuke tipped the rest of the bottle’s contents directly between the latter's open legs and Shinji bit back a yelp as oil sluiced down both his buttocks and his inside in rivulets.

Finally, the younger shinigami positioned himself over Shinji's widespread thighs. One hand stretching his hole, made pliant by previous administrations. The swollen cock pressed right into it, not yet breaching, just enough to elicit a hiss from Shinji. The other hand danced along his left inner thigh, coming to rest atop the old scar -

A sudden flash of reiryoku seared through the skin. Jolting Shinji into sudden lucidity, enough to process what just happened -

And Sousuke drove into him.

Shinji thought he'd _split._

A scream was choked before it was borne out of his throat. Squashed by the force of the weight that bore into him. Impossibly deep. The other’s balls bumping right into his buttocks.

Sousuke rasped out in a harsh voice - a mix of a gasp and a growl. Then he rammed in again. Hard. And again.

There were times when Sousuke was almost violent when they came together. As though resentful that they'd been disconnected. Reproachful towards Shinji for daring to be away. Shinji felt foolish about such fancies afterwards, but the thought would rise again whenever Sousuke pounded into him as if doling out punishment, or throwing a vengeful tantrum.

Shinji knew he shouldn't indulge the younger man in this. That it was _right_ for him to get mad. But with the other buried so deep that he couldn't tell the boundary between their bodies, when he witnessed the fervent desire in those eyes - Sousuke couldn't be more endearing to him.

There existed a part of him that took morbid delight in that he _could_ rouse such earnest, such true emotion out of this improbable being. So Shinji would wrap his arms around the other, giving assurances of ‘I’m here’.

But now, he was prevented from offering such consolation. Forced to take the merciless thrusts that nearly lifted him off the futon.

Right this moment, his whole self solely consisted of his  _body_. Barely alive. Incapable of judging what was meted out to him was pleasure or pain. His part only to _feel_ , to be engorged with sensations visited upon this body. And the body was insatiable. It eagerly met the relentless assaults, twisting and writhing, demanding more. The frantic cries and guttural utterances only a distant echo.

Something was building up near his belly, ringing through the very bones, twanging through the nerves. The movements became urgent, his restrained body trying to lift itself even more. This raging flame, it wouldn’t just burn him, it’d explode. It’d tear him from the inside. And melt down all the pieces. He didn't care, he'd welcome it. If his body was dissolved so, then so would this unquenchable _need_   -

Everything halted.

He might as well have been thrown down from a great height, to crash upon an unforgiving ground. A mewling sound escaped him as the movement inside ceased. Sousuke’s fingers dug grooves into his thighs, enough to score them purple come morning -.

The younger man groaned. Then dipped his head and bit down on Shinji’s stomach. The latter didn't even register the pain as the other’s cock slid out of him. The abrupt emptiness _stung_. And he rolled his hips in desperation, seeking deprived warmth.

Sousuke let go of the mouthful of flesh. Stuttering breaths gathering over the line of crescent indentations. The he moved around the older shinigami, to prop him up from behind until his head came up enough to see the mirror on the far wall.

Reflecting the area between his shaking legs.

"Look." Sousuke whispered hoarsely into Shinji's ear. "You look delicious like this."

The sheer unfamiliarity threw Shinji off. Disembodied and cut in a round frame, it looked abstract - a mass of shades of lurid red, dabbed with a splash of yellow hair. Everything was obscenely wet. Slick and glistening. The dark, crimson length stabbed into the air, the swollen balls drawn up tight under it. But what truly unnerved him was the pulsing spot below, leaking oil and other liquids.

"I wish you could feel how this - "

Sousuke's fingers crept towards where the opening was. Muscles there constricting at the barest touch.

"...quivers against my heat when I'm in here. What it _does_ to me."

Shinji saw the folds of skin there pucker up. His cock heaved upwards, the heavy sack below bouncing. The sight of his own arousal, so blatantly bared, aroused him even more.

"Tell me where you want me." Sousuke spoke, nipping his earlobe. "How you want me."

His body thrashed helplessly, blurring the reflection yonder. Shinji hadn't realized that words had rolled off his tongue. 

"Everywhere," Words squeezed like blood from a wound. "Every way."

A quick drawn breath, right into his ear. Held in for one long minute.

Then the silken bond at Shinji's right side was yanked away. The remaining one following suit.

The suddenly-freed limbs dropped like rocks. With a grunt, Shinji crumpled on his side. The sheets felt unpleasantly sticky and sour-sweet, drenched with oil and sweat and other fluids.

He curled up to contain the constant drumming of his lower body. His hand convulsed weakly, not yet quite sure it was still a part of him. In a trance, Shinji guided that confused hand down, to the damp place between his legs -

Sousuke snatched up his hand.

"Touch nothing but me."

Shinji blinked up at the figure crouched before him. Then dazedly moved his gaze to the stiff organ hovering right above his folded knees. A drop of clear liquid from it landed on his leg, to burnish the line where thigh and calf pressed together. Shinji shook a little, then slowly gripped the wrist of the hand that held him. He pulled himself up. A swooning in reverse. His limbs unfurled to prod at the other’s body. Moving like someone wading through a dream. Sousuke guided him as such, careful and steady as he lay down on his back and coaxed Shinji to climb on top of him, straddling him.

Long yellow hair - now possibly the driest part of both their bodies - poured around them in a pale curtain. Hands with bracelets of reddened skin around the wrists roamed over the younger man's face. Fingers snuck under the sweat-moistened hair to rub at the damp scalp. Skimmed over the eyelashes that Shinji liked to feel with his lips when they were lying face to face. Loved even more to let his gaze alight upon, when Sousuke wasn't looking at him and Shinji was presented with the side of his face - that delicate, unexpectedly fragile sweep over that brown iris. Instances all too rare, all too short. For Sousuke was quick to notice when Shinji was watching, and would inevitably turn to face him and smile, depriving his gaze of its perch.

Collarbones swept underneath the palms. Nipples rolled under the tongue. Fingers flitting over the lines of muscles that collected light and turned it into flowing honey, rich and sweet enough to lick. It was an act of rediscovery. No. Waking up. Shinji knew this body. Had committed everything about it to memory. Yet remembrance was so inadequate. The way even the most vivid dream has a thin membrane of filter that kept it irreconcilable with reality. All the touches were lights flickering on in succession along his consciousness. Calling. Here. Now.

What care, what discipline Sousuke employed to blunt this power, to stunt that deadly grace. The boy went through the world hunched. Not out of any real consideration, rather because he acknowledged the convenience of such. What it must feel like, Shinji wondered. What must be done about that.

_I don't know what to do with ya. I don't even know what to do with what ye're doin’ to me._

Sousuke had picked up another bottle of oil, haphazardly flinging the contents over himself. Shinji let the trickle sluice down his hands, rubbed it over the other's cock. Shinji rocked back, and the body below bucked accordingly. He ran his fingers among the hair around the other's sex, held the strands between his fingers. They tickled his nose as he bent over and breathed in. As he'd done with the daylilies that'd magically sprouted from his desk on his birthday, years ago, when no one was looking.

Hands on his hips pressed in with a quiet insistence and Shinji hoisted himself up on his knees, his one hand reaching down to guide the other into him again.

His inner walls felt thin after Sousuke had carved his way in. Perhaps he'd done so long ago. As Shinji slowly sank, his body gave a long, sated sigh. He swayed, wanting the presence inside to press into all the ridges and wrinkles, missing no part of him. Sousuke hefted him up slightly, brought him back down just a little hard. Shinji arched back, nails digging into the other's abdomen, thighs snapping tight.

It was a slower dance than the animalistic union prior, but no less heated. Shinji leaned his head back as he rode the other's body. His own breath showering down on his face as it curdled in the thick air. His body like a jar filled to the brim that tittered on edge, about to spill, and probably shatter, as well.

_And wouldn't that be a pity._ _After everythin' ya've put into me, Sousuke._

His hair was pulled taut and Shinji rolled his head forward. Sousuke reached up to brush away a lock of hair from his face. Such a tender gesture that belied the ferocious movements below.

"Where are you?"

_That's the thin', Sousuke._ _There has to be enough of me left, for ya to know where I am. If ya devour every part of me, make it yer own, there won't be a 'me'._ _I have to remain separate from ya in some way, to be with ya. Except I don't know how to make ya understand._

Shinji nuzzled the other's palm. Replying with a narrowed truth.

"I'm here."

Sousuke had that look that one might interpret as contemplation or a blank expression. Shinji knew this was when Sousuke hovered between deciding what state to be. _Ya don't like it, do ya? That brief measure of uncertainty._ A thumb pressed into his left thigh, where it still smarted from the burn –

Sousuke suddenly seized Shinji, pulling the older man off of him. He sat up. Placing the blond on his lap.

They didn't take their eyes off each other as Sousuke gently impaled Shinji upon him.

The blond's legs encircled him, ankles crossed at the back, arms around the neck, pulling up, pulling tight. Mouths sought each other, finding it quite unbelievable that they'd been apart for so long. Letting in only tiniest puff of air through, before tearing into each other again. Their bodies crashed until they seemed to weld together, so that they were one hot, panting mass, fearful that they'd fall apart if they let go.

Shinji’s shouts bled into Sousuke's shoulder, his arousal chaffing against the other's belly. Sousuke slipped in a hand to grasp Shinji's cock. Pulling. Yet avoiding just the tip that begged for the stimulation.

Shinji’s brain must've shut down before, unable to deal with the sensory bombardment. But now, all that delayed, distilled pleasure started to rupture in slow motion. He was suddenly afraid. He was reminded of when he had been caught out in a storm as a child. He'd climbed up a tree on some obscure belief that one could escape the storm as one would wild beasts. The wind had buffeted the tree along with him and he saw the dark river below the gorge. That plummeting awareness. The terrible conviction that he'd be swallowed up by the roaring waters. It didn't happen, at that time. He'd survived. Now -

Sousuke was close too. He knew it. Neither of them could hold back on this -

"Come with me."

Sousuke murmured against Shinji's lips, and stroked him where it counted.

Shinji’s entire body clasped tight. Liquid heat erupting between the legs and flooding him inside simultaneously.

For a moment, he had no knowledge of himself. There was no _himself_ to have such knowledge. Then he sagged, falling -

But Sousuke was there to catch him. 

They collapsed together. Heat cooling off the wreckage of their entwined limbs.

Shinji was sure he'd blacked out for a few seconds. When he came to, it was to Sousuke emptying last drops of his seed inside him. Shinji was aghast at the way his body still greedily sucked at the other's flesh.

When the younger man gave no hint of further movement, Shinji gave a brief wriggle. Only then did Sousuke pull out of him with a lewd, wet sound. 

Sousuke found enough strength to move over, to embrace Shinji from behind, his softened cock resting on the back of his captain’s sticky thighs. Shinji drew in a shaky breath. His body felt like it’d crumble at any moment. He hoped the younger man stayed quiet for a while. Not ask for any commentary on the sex. _'Best I ever had'_ didn't sound as apt as _'life-threatening.'_ Thankfully, Sousuke was silent. Although Shinji wasn’t as appreciative with the finger that ran along his stomach, gathering up strands of white fluid there. _Ya better be thinkin' 'bout washin' me squeaky-clean after this_ \- Shinji fumed inwardly as that hand ran over the line of his body, to the buttocks that shifted to the touch, to the back of his knee and to the inner thigh –

Shinji winced when the fingers circled the area the offensive kido had burnt through. The carved letter marred beyond recognition.

"Are you angry with me?

The voice was uncharacteristically sedate. Shinji wheezed out exasperatedly.

"I dunno what I am, with ya,"

Shinji gave a skewed, backwards glare.

"Ya want somethin', ya outright say it. I ain't up fer a surprise and it ain't even _my_ birthday."

"I wasn't - planning on it."

The voice sounded meek, as were those brown eyes. But Shinji had learnt nothing all those years if he'd ever suspect there was even a grain of regret in both of them. Shinji huffed and turned back, his shoulders sloped. Sousuke took that chance to kiss his nape. The boy never fought fair.

"How many hours have we left?"

"Quite a bit more. Sleep, captain."

_Ain't sure I_ can _like this, I feel absolutely filthy_ \- Shinji'd be glad that comment never made it out of his mouth. For Sousuke's words worked like a spell that sent him dozing right off.

When he woke up, he was still naked but clean and dry. His whole body was sore. But the ache from belly down was something else. Reminiscent of pain that coursed constant through his side during his student days. The kind of pain one almost savors. His teacher had approved of that ache, saying that it meant his zanpakuto was working him just so, in just the right spots. Shinji mused if that meant Sousuke had worked him just so, in just the right places.

"There's still time until sunrise."

Shinji turned over at the soft padding of bare feet across the tatami mat, before he even heard the voice. Despite his words, Sousuke had obviously expected that his captain would be awake, for he'd brought over two cups of steaming tea. Shinji was grateful. He was parched. And since he wasn't a stick-up-in-the ass like his former superior, he didn't mind that his lieutenant brought such perfectly brewed tea while nude.

"Are yer hands clean?"

Shinji asked as he lapped tentatively at the hot drink, lying on his stomach. Sousuke looked at him curiously.

"Yes?"

"Good. Rummage through my clothin' back by the entrance. There should be a box."

This obviously caught the younger man off-guard. And Shinji relished it as his lieutenant obediently came back with the said package.

"Happy birthday."

With that, Shinji plopped his head down, pillowed by his arms. Sousuke looked at him for a moment and opened the box. He stared for a while. Than ran his hand over what was in it, before carefully lifting it out of its velvet encasement, where it shone brilliant silver.

"Since the only thin's ya seemed marginally interested in among my collections were clockworks and automatons..."

Shinji shrugged. Gratified that the other was caught in the study of the silver pocket watch in his hand. Shinji moistened his lips with a sip of tea before continuing.

"Ya can hang it off yer sash like a netsuke. The button at the side..."

Sousuke had pressed it before Shinji could finish. The silver lid flopped open.

Shinji already knew by heart what the other man would be looking at: Three layers of delicate, translucent platinum platforms lining the outer edge. On the outermost rim were seconds, meticulously etched snow-white, where a diamond teardrop constantly traversed its round path. The widest middle marked the time of day, quarterly numerals emphasized by sapphires. An amber ship-anchor waited on the circular hours as the minutely quartz crystal star rotated at a faster pace. The innermost layer was for monthly dates. A stylized golden sun hung on the edge, its motion unseen but certain.

The sunken center of the watch face was a coiled serpent. Its polished surface reflecting various shades of blue - the shallow waters under the morning sun to the midnight dark of the nightly depths. Jewel-dusted scales gleamed like the truculent sea where stars crashed and were ground to powder by volatile waves. At the core of the serpent was a white frosted circle, divided in half. Upper part indicated the months of the year, displayed by the birthstone gems that took up residence accordingly in that little half-moon window. The lower half showed days of the week in the corresponding star symbol.

"Ya see, there's another face on its back..."

...Which showed the watch's inner workings, the cogwheels and gears spinning, all the little pieces forming a metallic labyrinth. Two circular surfaces partially covered the watch skeleton. Sculpted moonstone mirror ponderously rolled over one of them to reveal moon-phase. The other offered a twenty-four hour miniature clock, its background displaying day and night by its black-and-white half-circles.

“The key at the top. When ya press it..."

The key clicked, setting off some intricate mechanism within. There was a trill of chimes like waves carrying sterling bells. And the star-sprinkled scales rose and clashed against each other as the serpent reared its head, ruby eyes shining and two-forked tongue flickering as pearl-crested tail whipped along the ocean that was its body before settling back into slumber.

"My human acquaintance is responsible for the theme and the ostentatious gadget. He went a bit overboard with the commission..."

What the old man had given Shinji when he'd gone to pick up the watch wasn't an explanation, it was an epic saga in which the watch was the hero. By the end of it, Shinji had come to admitting that the intricate device deserved a bit of mythical history attached to it. 

"'tis a clever little thing, though, ain't it?"

"The description doesn't do it justice."

The way he said it, without looking up from the watch, made Shinji's inside clench, the way the back of one’s mouth cramps when having eaten something sweet when one wasn’t ready for it.

Sousuke approached him and took his mouth. Speaking over his lips when they parted after a hot minute.

"As any appreciation I could express wouldn't do justice for what I feel,"

Sousuke slipped in beside Shinji, the watch reverently cradled in his hands. 

"Acquaint us in further detail."

"...That might take the rest of the night."

It did, well through the early morning as Sousuke kept asking more and more. By the time Shinji got to setting up the alarm, they had only one hour of sleep left. They made most of it, until the sea serpent awoke them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was racking my head with regards to just what gift would be appropriate for Aizen. Preferably something with a practical function yet one-of-a-kind as well as being suitably ornate and grand. 
> 
> Then I remembered some of the marvelous automatons I saw online. Consecutive thoughts ran thus: Automatons - clockworks - automaton watches!
> 
> I had fun researching about all kinds of exclusive watches and was fascinated by all the unbelievably creative complications. 
> 
> I’m sure the horologists would have a lot to say about all the inaccuracies over the watch described here. It’s probably impossible to make in real life, let alone a century ago. 
> 
> Also, a watch that complicated takes years to make. So there was a whole backstory about how the watch did not start out as a gift but I ended up ditching that because the chapter was already monstrously long as it was.


End file.
